[antoinevg]

From what you said I think you overestimate how happy working on your own goals will make you and I think you underestimate how happy your marriage is making you.

It doesn't have to be either/or. Look at the excluded middle.

[throwawayIn2019]

I have thought about both of these. It's weird, before my wife, I was very happy just living in a small place, just me, doing my work. We really do have a lot of fun.

We tried a middle ground to where we each have dedicated time each day for work and goals. However, this never implemented well. She would come in a bother me for the smallest things. I explained I need to focus and she just does it again 5 mins later. So I drop back and punt and hang out with her and the kids. When she needs to work, she gets that dedicated time. I think the main reason she is always on the phone or Skype or Zoom and therefore she is never interruptible.

[minnca]

Ummm what about just going outside of the house to work? Like one of those shared workspaces? Not being able to work when your wife is around doesn't really seem to me like ground for divorce, it just seems like you need different kinds of workspaces.

[lastofus]

I'm in the same boat regarding interruptions. A lock on the door can help.

[seeker61]

In other words, she doesn't respect the deal she made with you.

[throwawayIn2019]

I honestly think she just doesn't know how. I don't think she is trying to be dis-respectful. She just needs that close personal contact and interaction through out much of each day.

Our goals in life are very different. The way we work is very different.

[seeker61]

I suggest that you re-read the things you've written about her with the following question in mind: "Am I making excuses for her behavior?"