[djohnston]

“Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

[toasterlovin]

The important thing in deciding between two alternatives is figuring out which you will regret least. Then constantly reminding yourself that there's a good reason you chose the grass on this side.

[sethammons]

I disagree. I wrote this in another thread just yesterday I think. My philosophy: make the best choice you can given the information you have, and you'll not have cause to regret anything in your life. Some choices might hurt and you might not like the outcome, but you did what you felt was best. You can learn from it, but there is never cause to regret it.

[rubatuga]

You can't just "logic" away regret. We make bad choices, no matter what, and that causes regret.

[sethammons]

not sure what to tell you. I don't have regrets. It's nice. No "logic-ing" it, I believe it.

Edit. Thought I'd expand on that. I grew up poor. Had a kid at 15. I've had to ward off wild animals from eating my food. I've injured myself doing stupid stuff (some injuries that have not fully healed even years later and they limit me near daily), I've been fired, I've changed careers, I've gone into debt when I should not have, I've not tended some friendships I should and I've lost them, I've made bad purchases. I could cry a river. I don't. I always try to make the best decision given the information I have. This year, I made a financial choice that had I not, I could have put an additional year's salary into my bank account. No regrets. I've done the best I can. Sometimes it hurts. I learn from it, and continue living.

[theonething]

I would say that everyone makes the best choice they are able to given their current circumstances.

Everyone's trying their best with what they've got. Sometimes you don't have the energy, information, innate ability, etc to make the absolute best choice. Actually many times. So you make the choice that is best according to your current circumstances and abilities.

That's not to say people can't improve. When they do, they've upped their level of "best they can do".

When I remind myself of this, that people are doing the best they can at that moment, it helps me forgive myself and forgive others for disappointing me.

[sethammons]

Totally agree. Worrying about making the optimal choice is no good. Do the best you can. Just don't be lazy about it :) And considering that others are doing their best is a great strategy in many situations.

[djohnston]

in my experience regret is never something I can reason my way out of. it is sort of an intimate and reptile-brain oriented sadness that is initiated by high level thoughts but is then quite difficult to erase.

[stevenwoo]

For those unaware there's a broken romance behind his writing

https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/keeper-loves-flame-regin...!

[supadupa888]

Is this different than “the grass is always greener on the other side”.

[dominotw]

most popular quote on HN today.

[fegu]

Not advocating hanging yourself, but it is something you will never regret since if done "successfully" you will cease to exist and therefore not be able to regret anything.

[postsantum]

Quite a lot of people who survived a suicide attempt (especially by jumping off bridges) tell how they regretted their decision the same moment they jumped

[padobson]

After a successful hanging, there are plenty of possible afterlife scenarios where you could have plenty of opportunity for regret. Most religions teach that suicide is punished in the next life. If we're living in a physics experiment or computer simulation, there's no guarantee our consciousness won't be stored elsewhere after death, opening up the possibility of regret, especially of the storage system sucks.

Maybe there won't be an opportunity for regret, but it's certainly not definitive.

[nismoskyz]

This depends greatly on your philosophical belief of whether you will ever be held accountable for all your actions, good or bad, after you "cease to exist".

[newnewpdro]

As if death by hanging is an instantaneous atomic act, you're very likely conscious for some time both during and after the irreversible moments.

[_cs2017_]

This naive view is why for centuries we haven't seen any improvement in the happiness of ghosts.