[sethammons]

I disagree. I wrote this in another thread just yesterday I think. My philosophy: make the best choice you can given the information you have, and you'll not have cause to regret anything in your life. Some choices might hurt and you might not like the outcome, but you did what you felt was best. You can learn from it, but there is never cause to regret it.

[rubatuga]

You can't just "logic" away regret. We make bad choices, no matter what, and that causes regret.

[sethammons]

not sure what to tell you. I don't have regrets. It's nice. No "logic-ing" it, I believe it.

Edit. Thought I'd expand on that. I grew up poor. Had a kid at 15. I've had to ward off wild animals from eating my food. I've injured myself doing stupid stuff (some injuries that have not fully healed even years later and they limit me near daily), I've been fired, I've changed careers, I've gone into debt when I should not have, I've not tended some friendships I should and I've lost them, I've made bad purchases. I could cry a river. I don't. I always try to make the best decision given the information I have. This year, I made a financial choice that had I not, I could have put an additional year's salary into my bank account. No regrets. I've done the best I can. Sometimes it hurts. I learn from it, and continue living.

[theonething]

I would say that everyone makes the best choice they are able to given their current circumstances.

Everyone's trying their best with what they've got. Sometimes you don't have the energy, information, innate ability, etc to make the absolute best choice. Actually many times. So you make the choice that is best according to your current circumstances and abilities.

That's not to say people can't improve. When they do, they've upped their level of "best they can do".

When I remind myself of this, that people are doing the best they can at that moment, it helps me forgive myself and forgive others for disappointing me.

[sethammons]

Totally agree. Worrying about making the optimal choice is no good. Do the best you can. Just don't be lazy about it :) And considering that others are doing their best is a great strategy in many situations.

[djohnston]

in my experience regret is never something I can reason my way out of. it is sort of an intimate and reptile-brain oriented sadness that is initiated by high level thoughts but is then quite difficult to erase.