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by whatshisface 2725 days ago
>You can imagine how deflated the person would feel if you met them IRL and started asking proper questions.

You could make anyone unhappy by "asking the proper questions," irrespective of what they have in their LinkedIn profile. Doing that is called "being mean."
2 comments
yowlingcat 2724 days ago
Who pissed in your coffee today? Perhaps it's my bias living in NYC, but the average denizen here (myself included) finds someone asking proper, honest questions to be the absolute bare minimum to taking that person seriously, not to mention the absolute bare minimum to a whole host of basic human interactions and endeavors: working together, dating, making and sustaining friendships, making art, building a company.

Frankly, I find the almost passive aggressive lack of asking proper questions to be a little condescending and mean in and of itself. One of my favorite movies has several themes, but that's one of them. It's name, very interestingly enough, is Mean Girls.

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scarejunba 2724 days ago
About the one difference between people who live in NYC and people who live elsewhere is that the former always prefix their questions with "As someone who lives in NYC,". They're sort of like college mothers, members of the armed forces attending university, or vegans.

I'm somewhat of the opinion that the people you're talking about will have considered answers to the so-called proper questions you have. It may be that they need to think to answer some.

Constructing some fictional individual who's bullshitting on LinkedIn and then tearing them down is top-shelf insecure behaviour.

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skookumchuck 2724 days ago
Ironically, asking someone "where are you from?" is now considered a micro-aggression!

https://othersociologist.com/2017/07/15/where-are-you-from-r...

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danmaz74 2724 days ago
As an Italian living in London, with very light skin and blue eyes, I still get this question asked often enough - just because of my accent. Mostly, it's a way to start a conversation. Personally, I also ask the same questions to most English-sounding and looking people - to learn if they're from London or from somewhere else.
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bartread 2724 days ago
I must admit that I find the whole idea of micro-aggressions somewhat suspect, at least as currently posited, since it becomes an apparent necessity for me to second guess everything that anyone says to me for ulterior or questionable motives. As an introvert this degree of "extrospection" sounds utterly exhausting.
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skookumchuck 2724 days ago
It's much like that "cultural appropriation" absurdity.
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toss1 2724 days ago
Actually, whether <asking proper questions> is "mean" or good depends on the competence of the person of whom the questions are asked.

For a competent person, a few proper questions present an opportunity to better explain their proposition, thesis, or thinking, and an opening to a potentially great conversation.

For an incompetent answerer, a few proper questions merely reveal the shallowness of their thesis and thinking. if they're smart, it'll be an indication that they should go back to the drawing board. If not, it'll just be an embarrassment, but informative to the questioner (as in, this person's ideas aren't worth more time).

If your only goal is maintaining superficial social connections, then proper questions should be left out (and there are times where this is indeed the goal and so appropriate). If the goals are more broad, then ask away...

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