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by tuesdayrain 2817 days ago
There's truly nothing in my life as deeply satisfying as coding on 60mgs of adderall and a small bowl or two of cannabis. Unfortunately I've gotten spoiled by looking at code in a state of euphoria, and now I'm completely unproductive while sober. I can't even bear to spend 20 minutes looking at the code I was obsessively writing for 18 hours yesterday. It's just too boring and complex in my normal state of mind. I hope that's just a psychological thing and not because of any permanent damage. I would love to erase all drugs from my life but the code I write in 1 day under the influence is easily better than what I would produce in a month of sobriety.
3 comments

I could see others conclude, yes, that is damage or will be from drugs. Which I disagree, but it could then be argued, that of course due to damage affecting my thinking and reasons to think otherwise, not true either. But I don't need to be right, just need to say I know that is one valid angle.

Psychological, your neuro pathways are getting a strong message to build one of the strongest connections between cannabis and addy. That can be reversed or reeducated. I think our brains still need majorly heavy hours of liberal arts, day dreaming, reading books per day or per week + sleep. I use a sleep calculator too, changed my life way more than I assumed.

What sleep calculator do you use? How has it changed your life?
I 98.7% (close to 100% is my point) never wake up in REM anymore which is the "feel tired all day" state you would feel. I get thru at least one or two full sleep cycles relative to my ability to be percise-ish. I didn't know it was REM that screwed me. I thought, it was an, "at least 4 hours or you are screwed" type rule of thumb. The key is to get thru the full 90 minute (avg) 5 stage sleep cycle and then either wake up or commit to 2 cycles, etc. One or two still has you tired compared to a refreshing 4-5 (low end) or higher. But I was amazed that waking up in REM in the 5th cycle hurts worse sometimes, that getting only 90 cycle or two, egress before next round and surprisingly refresh I can get thru a day. I'm sure a non-layman in the field could turn my Dr. Suess version of an explanation to a more accurate and nuanced version. Tried others, more complex, this is perfect for my needs never looked back:

https://sleepcalculator.com/

Did you also buy a fancy alarm clock or just use the calculator ?
not the same, but I use a fitbit to track sleep
Not OP, but making sure I have good sleep definately had a big impact on my live, as I now have full productive day to do stuff, instead of having the first half of the day ruined by waking up at the wrong time.

The two options that work best for me are: - Wake up with the sun. Not feasible for every job, or when you have meetings early in the day, but if you have the freedom to do so, I'd recommend it. - Sleep phase alarm that measures your sleep phase by laying on the edge of your mattress and wakes you accordingly. More reliable than a sleep calculator, in my experience. My app of choice for Android is "Sleep as Android" (which is also an awesome Alarm in general).

Your mileage may of course vary, especially if you are already hooked on morning coffee.

That's an interesting point. I don't do "drugs" ever (coffee and wine permitting), but definitely there is a right balance between "care enough to do this for N hours" and "mentally capable to jump the hoops involved". I think being less sober supports the former whilst hurting the latter, but the optimal balance is definitely not "fully sober".
You should consider trying something like Sober October. No offense, but keeping that up sounds like a quick and painful way to burn out.