[wasx]

I've had panic attacks my entire life.Fortunately they're few and fair between these days and I can for the most part calm myself down when I feel one oncoming (they're almost always triggered by some event fortunately, very rarely just random ones).

I wouldn't wish them on anyone. That feeling of "I'm trapped, this is forever, I'm going to die, this is overwhelming, I need to escape" is genuinely the worst thing I've ever experienced. The brain misfiring the trigger that gets pulled when you're in a life or death situation is terrifying.

Fortunately recognizing that it's just a chemical response and I don't have an infinite supply of those chemicals and it will all be ok in a moment is one of the most calming thoughts and one that I always turn to when I'm panicking. Also remembering that I've felt amazing between panic attacks reminds me that soon I will feel that way again.

Just a few thoughts I turn to when I need to white knuckle that wave of panic that might be able to help someone else out.

[ridewinter]

The start of recovery for me was reading a book by Pema Chodron about not trying to get rid of the intense feelings and experiences like this. With enough experience and meditation and a practice called morning pages, I’ve learned to harness the extreme energies involved and make them a massive positive instead of something to be scared of, holding me back. It took a long time but fully worth the effort. :)

Edit:

A favorite passage from Pema’s book: https://books.google.com/books?id=a6sRdYLlmqIC&pg=PA6&lpg=PA...

An article about morning pages: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/oct/03/morning...

[mindgam3]

Morning pages has been an incredibly helpful tool for me to process the difficult emotional states associated with acute and chronic PTSD. I kind of do the slacker version by typing them out as opposed to writing freehand, but hey, it still works.

[ridewinter]

Yep. When I started I thought I didn’t have much to say. Turns out I have ALOT. Helps me work through things and start the day out right.

[nicklovescode]

Any good links to share?

[ridewinter]

Sure, I just updated my comment.

[nicklovescode]

thanks ridewinter :)

[modzu]

i too have found that they have become much less frequent as i get older. but even when they happened more commonly, just knowing what was happening helped me to cope. it was much scarier when i wasn't sure what was happening (was i going insane? having a heart attack?...). so im glad to see more awareness about it now, and hopefully people don't have to go through a long scary period like i did

[shrimp_emoji]

Same experience. The first one's brutal. The uncertainty of what's happening and the fear forms a negative feedback loop, only making it worse. Am I having a heart attack? In my 20s?! But, ever after, I found them pretty easily defused with, "Ugh. This again. Yeah, yeah..."

The anxiety itself is still unpleasant, and sometimes it can take novel forms, symptomatically, which is cute (and a good way to jade you to legitimate medical issues). Fortunately, though, I've had nothing as intense as my first or second panic attacks to date.

[S-E-P]

I've had a similar experience. Now it only hits about once every two weeks typically, much better than what it used to be.

Honestly I don't mind it as much as I used to, and maybe that was due to the sheer frequency of it earlier in my life, but in a way it makes even the most mundane calm feeling truly special, and I like that, a lot.