[jabbadabbadooba]

- "But thinking negatively all the time will sap your motivation and enjoyment of life."

The thing is that people are not always embarrassed, because they like to feel embarrassed. You'll get comments, snarky, clever remarks that will stick in your head. You'll get people staring at you, pointing at you, laughing behind your back just in earshot. They'll twist the truth, saying your lazy or dimwitted. Those things make you feel negative too. Now you'll say, "but you got to break the vicious cycle!", but that's so easy to say. Even if you've been through the same, your experience is completely different. People get depressed because they see the work ahead to break out of that circle, and if it's big enough they start to contemplate their existence in life. Because at some point you'll learn, that after breaking this vicious cycle, there's a next, and a next. And the reward is often too small. It also definitely doesn't help that some people have it easier only because of sheer luck, and those same people will be the ones keeping you down - "where you belong".

Edit: For the record, I also think CBT sucks

[jm__87]

I think what it comes down to is self compassion - you have to care about yourself, especially if you believe no one else does. This is something that doesn't just happen. You have to practice self compassion and do things for yourself. Another approach to build some self compassion is loving kindness meditation. Once you have some self compassion you can forgive yourself for some of your own faults. As you said, some of us are lucky and some of us are unlucky. Just like it's not the fault of the lucky people that they had good luck, it too is not your fault you had bad luck. Best not to dwell on what you can't have - all you do is torture yourself for no reason - and just focus on what you can have.

Edit: regarding what other people think, it is best to just focus on what you know to be true and challenge anything that could be potentially untrue. If someone ridicules you, they're a jerk. But don't engage in any sort of mind reading exercises. It is pointless torture. Focus on what you want for yourself and don't let other people's opinions distract you from your goal.

[jabbadabbadooba]

You're right of course, and this is something I've recently began to learn for myself (thanks for re-asserting). I just think this is a very difficult lesson to learn, since it goes so much against our social instincts (as humans).