[tzaman]

Out of curiosity, what's all the fuss with engagement rings in the first place? When me and my wife got engaged, I gave her nothing (nor did she expect anything), just asked her to marry me and she agreed, we kissed and that was it.

We did, however, made wedding rings, which together were about $1300, but that's because they were made out of gold.

Why overcomplicate things? :)

[vermontdevil]

Marketing companies pushed for the “diamond” part of the engagement ring and built a narrative around it in the 30’s

https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/ho...

[rayiner]

Our engagement rings trace back to Middle Ages Europe, where they arose to serve a notice function (this person is taken). Diamonds became associated with them in the Victorian era, and became more widespread when ordinary people started copying the trappings of nobility (diamond engagement rings, college, etc.).

[slfnflctd]

I was told a story that the concept originated before this, as a subtle way to identify acolytes of a certain religious order or place of worship in ancient times. The phrase used was "temple prostitutes". I've searched a bit and had trouble finding a source to back this up, though. If anyone has one or can debunk it, I'd be happy either way.

[mysterydip]

I assume peer pressure of some sort. When my now wife was telling all her friends she was engaged, the first thing they all asked was "let me see the ring!"

[tzaman]

Must be cultural differences then - nobody around here (Central Europe) cares or asks about rings.

[Freak_NL]

It's seems to be mostly a US thing (it doesn't seem common in Western Europe either). It boggles the mind how spending several monthly salaries on a ring became a solidly embedded tradition over there.

[skywhopper]

You seem to believe the commercials more than most Americans do. The vast majority of people don't spend that much on an engagement ring (I'm pretty sure the commercials said "two months'" not "several" anyway--but still, that's nuts, no one I know spent anywhere near that much). An engagement ring is pretty entrenched as a tradition, sure, but not the boggling part about the expense.

[glandium]

It got to Japan too. Probably from the US.

[Guest9812398]

I'm in Poland, and I know three couples that got engaged the past year. All of them have diamond engagement rings. It's a small reference point, but clearly some people care in Central Europe, and they all seemed excited to "see the ring".

[mysterydip]

She's even had random strangers (like a store checkout clerk or hotel front desk) ask to see it closer and then compliment what a good job I did (not tooting my own horn, I and others think it's just as silly as you do, but if you want the girl you get her what she wants).

[gregoriol]

"but if you want the girl you get her what she wants"

That's the sadest thing I've read today.

[mysterydip]

What I meant was, if you love someone you want to make them happy, and in the grand scheme of things wasn't much over the course of a lifetime committment. I can see how it was worded gave the wrong impression.

[5555624]

When my ex and I got engaged, in Waterford, Ireland, all of her friends asked to see the ring and turn it around her finger. It was some sort of tradition.

[johannes1234321]

This is the result of marketing of the De Beers corporation, who ran large campaigns about "Diamonds are Forever" and how important an expensive engagement ring was. That stuck quite well. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Beers#Marketing

[skywhopper]

That's cool. It's also cool to give a token (such as an engagement ring) or exchange gifts as part of the engagement as well.

Why criticize the way other people choose to celebrate their engagement?

[dgacmu]

There's an important difference between criticizing a tradition, and criticizing individuals. The tradition, in this case, was greatly magnified by the parties who have a vested interest in people spending a lot of money on rings. That aspect of it conveys little benefit to the people who partake in it, or, as others have already noted, is even negative by encouraging people to spend too much of their income at a time in their life when they really ought to be focused on saving and making efficient use of their funds.

Rituals are good. A gift exchange can be great. A visible symbol is important to some people (I wear a wedding band and I like it). But the current tradition encourages something financially foolish for most modern couples.

[mymythisisthis]

Got married, skipped much of the shady symbolism associated with marriage. Asking permission from the father, like your wife is a piece of chattel, no. 9 month engagement to make sure the baby is yours, no. White wedding dress stating virginity, no. Engagement ring, no. We need to update many crazy symbols, they've just become too offensive. The longer we wait the crazier they become.

[Semaphor]

I got my fiancee a great looking engagement ring from a Chinese Etsy store. Cost including shipping was a little bit above $100.

[raverbashing]

A lot of places have wedding bands, without stones

Seems like diamond rings are another BS pushed by marketing and swallowed by the public.