You come across as someone who is too calculating of dating and marriage, treating it like a engineering or mathematical problem. Sure, selecting the right partner to spend the rest of your life is very important and anyone should put some thought into it, but imo should not be treated as a game of calculation and trade, to me that really loses the sense of what makes us human. The part where you said have moved to east coast for a few years where the dating pool is not a problem, and yet you haven't settled on a long term partner makes me think the majority of the problem isn't with the dating pool itself (not that there's anything wrong with this lifestyle if that's what you like).
The average age of first marriage for males in the US is 29, so I'm well within acceptable social bounds.
I'm not eager to get married next month, nor do I feign to be. I'm worried about making a decision to relocate to the Bay for several years and eventually running against this problem when I do want to get married.
It's never good to worry about factors you cannot change, and I cannot change the fact that there are more single men in San Jose than in the entire state of Alaska:
What I can change is not enter a situation in which I will be disadvantaged, have to compete with a large group of men over a tiny selection of very picky women:
> “I think it’s pretty good for the girls,” chimes Elizabeth Harris, a recent transplant from Los Angeles who finds San Jose’s legions of eager men “refreshing.” She was the only woman sitting at a bar lined with men at downtown’s Mission Ale House — aka the “Mission Male House.” “You can be more picky. They have to try harder. They all try to one up each other.”
That article us from 2009, and the situation got a lot worse since then.
I appreciate the attempt to help, but you are advising to "not worry" about very bad statistics that I can also confirm from my own experience. There's no way to simply handwave away the fact that there's a ton more men than women in the Bay, and this scarcity of women combined with the fierce competition makes the dating scene in the area very favorable to women and disfavorable to men.
> there are more single men in San Jose than in the entire state of Alaska:
There are a time and a half as many people in San Jose as in the entire state of Alaska, so there being more single men in San Jose than Alaska says nothing.
Fair enough, here's a more useful statistic from the article:
There are 134 single men for every 100 single women in San Jose.
That means that even in the unrealistic best-case scenario that all the available single men find a perfect female match, then out of every 100 single men, 27 will still have no partners left to date.
> That means that even in the unrealistic best-case scenario that all the available single men find a perfect female match, then out of every 100 single men, 27 will still have no partners left to date.
Assuming a closed dating pool (both geographically limited and no turnover over time), and all single people of both genders both looking for a partner and exclusively heterosexual, sure.
Of course, all of those assumptions are very false, so it means nothing of the sort.