[karles]

I went through university not knowing how to study, and as a result, I now have a "worthless" degree. One thing is, that the university and the degrees I took was a joke. 3-6 hours of "class" (100+ people crammed into an auditorium), no graded homework or feedback during semesters, and examns was just handing in 12-15 pages of analysis, and then getting a grade on my report sheet. No contact with educators, no counselling, guidance or otherwise interaction with lecturers, educators or other staff at the university. I could sit a home 30 hours a week and still get my "degree". Basically no feedback from the university on how I did, where I was heading etc.

For me, this means I made a lot of stupid choices. For one, I never understood the degree I took, but relentlessly kept on "fighting", as I thought that it _had_ to make sense to me someday. It never did. Swapped studies during my masters, but got into a "soft" IT-programme that didn't resonate with me either. As a result, I never learned to study, because I would get stressed out that the material never really made sense to me. I couldn't connect it to anything in the real world (and perhaps more important to me - no job postings ever seemed to ask for the skills I was acquiring).

Today, two years after i finished with an A+ (I wonder how...), and average grades in general, I have a galloping depression, and just wish that I could do it all over. No doubt I was perhaps immature or used to be a "natural talent" through high school, and therefore thought University was just passing examns. That hurts me a lot, and I have a hard time letting that thought go. I don't think anyone will ever be able to convince me, that the university or classes I went to was working as intended however. In my mind, education cannot solely be based on people reading and writing for themselves.

I wish someone would have shown me a guide like that when I started, and helped me manage my ambitions and performance a bit more throughout university. I'm now a worthless member of society, even though I have a degree. I don't think anyone is happy with the outcome, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one to blame. At least thats what I keep telling myself.

[UweSchmidt]

No one has all the answers as they are starting out.

Your degree probably isn't too bad if you add some practical skills. In IT people are in demand, you are in demand. Add Programming, QA, or some kind of analyst, product owner skills and your soft IT degree will be the frame around the picture.

[MIKarlsen]

I'm just stuck with this thought: I spent 6 years "accomplishing" very little. Others (programmers eg) will have 5 years advantage on me, or even more, as a lot of people will have been programming from an earlier age.

I realize I've spent too much time playing video games, hanging out with friends and so on, to realistically be able to compete with someone who has been on a track and dedicated for 5+ years.

So the thought of "You only just have to start _now_", after I've been through 20 years of education completely paralyzes me. I wouldn't want to hire me. And I can't concentrate or focus enough to actually learn programming (been trying for 4 years now), since the negative thoughts just keep returning, and I have a hard time convincing myself that I'm wrong.

It feels like I'm just waiting for things to get worse, and what scares me is, that this thought doesn't even bother me anymore, because I feel that my situation is justified.

[UweSchmidt]

Very few people have been "on track" their whole life and workplaces are full of "average" people (by definition), nothing to worry about. Self study can be daunting, I know from experience. Maybe seek some counseling for your psyche (you alread know your own thoughts about yourself are kinda off right now, right?) , join a coding bootcamp. IT needs lots of people to solve lots of problems, the vast majority doable by ordinary people. Hope that helps :-)