[guacamoleSoda]

This sounds like something out of Eyes Wide Shut, but with social awkwardness, baggy dad jeans, and crocs and socks.

I can't imagine this is emotionally healthy for most of the folks involved. The once socially-exiled men trading wealth and drugs and (implicit) promises of career advancement for sex. The women who hope to leverage their looks for access to a better life, but risk ruining their reputations due to societal double standards. Being aware of these facts, would either party feel good about the encounters?

Orgies are fine. I've never been to one and have no desire to go to one. The real issue here is the power-asymmetry between the men and women involved. It reminds me of someone like Harvey Weinstein inviting an aspiring actress up to his hotel room and making an advance. It puts the women in a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation. Just extending the invitation itself can be vaguely threatening to a lot of people.

[stcredzero]

This sounds like something out of Eyes Wide Shut, but with social awkwardness, baggy dad jeans, and crocs and socks...

Orgies are fine. I've never been to one and have no desire to go to one. The real issue here is the power-asymmetry between the men and women involved

Heck, there are low-rent "eyes wide shut" style events in Houston which are distinctly lower middle class. Glowing bracelets to color code your availability. Mud-wrestling scale large amounts of home formulated glycerin lubricant. Not a VC in sight, not a whiff of money and power. Just a whole lot of ex-employees of ISPs and assorted lower middle class nerd/weirdo friends. One of the parties I know of is lesbians only. Another one of them is yearly and run by a woman in an open marriage.

There are only two things in the Bay Area I know of that might fall vaguely into this sensational category. One of them was some kind of brunch with a live sex show. (The other: furries, and I don't know much more than that and I don't want to know!)

People have been doing one variation or another of this bacchanal stuff since time immemorial. It's "Honest" John the Fox and Gideon the Cat from Pinocchio offering you the tickets to Pleasure Island. There's much better one can do with the strength of one's body, mind, and passions than that nonsense. For those of you still in your teens and early 20's -- it's your job to make it past your youth with your honor, your mind, and your optimism intact.

[azernik]

My honor, mind, and optimism are surviving the sex parties of the poly and BDSM scene just fine, thank you very much.

[stcredzero]

My honor, mind, and optimism are surviving the sex parties of the poly and BDSM scene just fine, thank you very much.

Thank you for that. I dated a poly woman at one point. Not all parties are the same. From my experience, there is a definite rationality and morality associated with the poly scene which is based on consent. I'm not saying that pleasure is bad. Nihilistic pleasure without regard to anything else is pessimistic and simply doesn't lead to good things in the long run. Even Orthodox Jewish teaching recognizes certain kinds of sexual pleasure as a mitzvah. (In fact, sex has been shown by researchers to encourage neurogenesis. One grows more brain when one has good sex.)

[webkike]

> Orgies are fine. I've never been to one and have no desire to go to one. The real issue here is the power-asymmetry between the men and women involved.

Very true. I feel that if these people were really in the business to live out their kinks they would be a hell of a lot more explicit and safe about these things. As far as I can tell none of these people would explicitly refer to any of these parties as an Orgy in the invite, leaving me to believe they are ashamed of the inherent sexism in the actions they are performing.

[forgottenpass]

>none of these people would explicitly refer to any of these parties as an Orgy in the invite, leaving me to believe they are ashamed of the inherent sexism in the actions they are performing.

Or they're ashamed about living in a wider society that isn't fully accepting of the practice.

Be careful with that brush you're painting with. There are plenty of now-accepted lifestyles that previously got the exact same treatment. "They act that way because they know they're wrong!" often turns to "Oh, they acted that way because the rest of us were assholes about it."

[webkike]

> Or they're ashamed about living in a wider society that isn't fully accepting of the practice.

I disagree, because they are sending these invitations to people they know will be on board. Although it is claimed they avoid the term to not have the photos of the parties if shared be extremely explicit, which supports your hypothesis.

I'm not implying there is anything wrong at all about orgies. I am claiming that calling these parties orgies would be more explicit and upfront and therefore less wrong. It's simply the fact that they can't call it a progressive orgy because they ratio of women to men is so incredibly skewed.

[smrtinsert]

Some nerd types buy into the "I'm finally inheriting the earth" bullshit. A lot of them are very normal people and just love tech talk, but I've heard stories from a few C levels about goings on.

I'm not surprised it's bigger than I thought. The more we change the more we stay the same.

[nvahalik]

> Orgies are fine. I've never been to one and have no desire to go to one. The real issue here is the power-asymmetry between the men and women involved.

If orgies are fine then why aren’t they part of mainstream culture? They aren’t part of the mainstream culture because orgies themselves are opposed to the things that are part of a working society: sacrifice, honor, wisdom, and self control.

Thank God that our society isn’t like this or we’d all be dead.

[Retra]

Most people on this planet believe death will be an improvement for them, yet they manage to survive just the same. Seems like our innate will to live clearly will outweigh whatever virtues you find lacking...