| I want to add to this discussion I have never changed completely on my own. I have always had some kind of help from others in some form. Either by their example, their stories or direct encouragement. Even sometimes their criticism has helped snap me out of my delusions to see things for how they really are. I don't agree with "just try harder", I think something needs to change, sideways. I've never changed anything in my life by the "just try harder" method, I think it's bunk. If that is what it sounds like I am suggesting, I want to clarify that it is not. I am saying look for the answer and don't give up until you find it. Try something small to change your path. Just one day, when you would normally complain, don't. Instead, find something good in the situation. And just keep making tiny, small possibly changes. After awhile you may be surprised what will happen. You may start to see that some people in your life actually care about you, where before you thought they were against you. You may find new friends or notice the sun shining, when normally you would be looking at the ground. When I decided that I didn't want to hurt (physically) anymore, just sitting at a desk all day, I decided (not a "try hard") to start running. I ran decided 10 minutes a day is more than I was doing, and it was a start. And I timed my morning activities and found I wasted 10 minutes consistently, and it seemed an easy thing to achieve. So I ran 10 minutes in crocs and my pajamas (fleece pants). I gave myself no excuse, I just did it. I did it 6 days a week for 3 months. And it changed my life. The year before I couldn't barely pull my kids around in a sled, that winter, I not only pulled them around for a couple hours, I chased them around and wore them out. From 10 minutes of the lamest running you would ever see. I got up to a mile in 10 minutes. (you can almost walk a mile in 10 min) I lost weight, my physical pain went away (general aches from sitting for years) and I learned that if you try to be like the buff nuts on youtube, you will likely lose. But you _can_ do 10 minutes a day. Anyone can. I have a friend who is 85 spends a few hours in the gym a day now. He started getting wobbly and almost falling over. The doctor told him he needed a walker. Instead, he started doing balancing exercises and walks just fine now. Will any of this help everyone? Nope, but I think most people can benefit from people like my friend. He showed me it's possible, and I believed him. I know you can "do" something different in your life. Maybe you can't change your thoughts and feelings right away. But you can physically alter your habits and actions. And from that, many things are possible. |