[subru]

This reminds me of my core mission: sterilize myself or self terminate.

Everything I've experienced and felt since youth indicates that my seed is unwanted by humanity, and it's clear suicide helps evolution by eliminating bad genes. I think about suicide constantly and have done so since youth. This is my brain telling me to help humanity by leaving. Hoping to complete that mission ASAP.

[jmmcd]

I wouldn't necessarily go along with your logic here. If you decide not to have children for one reason or another you can implement that decision without suicide. A lot of people have suicidal thoughts at some stages in their lives, then recover and are glad they didn't take a non-reversible action.

Anyway, it's too dangerous a topic for you to work things out without a bit of "peer review". So I strongly recommend to contact a counsellor.

[subru]

This isn't occurring st some subset of stages; it's been steady throughout my entire life. And I've grown more and more cynical with age. It's a decision that I've long intellectualized.

People who don't survive aren't around anymore to discuss whether they are satisfied with their decision. Why would I waste my time talking to someone who intends to talk me out of something that isn't a debate to me? It's a personal decision.

[magic_beans]

Have you considered Buddhism, the entire purpose of which is to learn to overcome suffering? Here's a summary: http://www.bcc.ca/buddhism/fournobletruthsandeightfoldpath.h...

[sacado2]

Suicide doesn't help evolution. If you have bad genes, you die before you can reproduce, or your children do. If you and your children survive, those were good genes. You don't have to do anything to manage evolution, it takes care of itself by its own.

[subru]

I disagree. With a high sex drive, it's probable that I would reproduce eventually, risking passing on my genes. Suicide ensures that procreation won't occur.

[wox]

If you suspect your offspring (or your genes) would somehow be harmful to humanity, no one is asking you to produce any. But calling suicide your "mission" just betrays spite and resentment. What's so urgent about it?

Isn't it really about wanting to escape suffering?