[scalatohaskell]

This is what I came to realize as well, and it's what frustrates me. I have one of simplest job in the world (I see other people in other fields working so hard, for much less money), and I can't manage it because I'm so bored and frustrated). And that feeds back to even more frustration and unhappyness. I'd hope that I can find some meaningful job. At least something that makes sense a bit.

There's a lot of truth in what you write. Thanks. Problem is, I am extremely goal oriented person. I need a carrot in front of me to chase - that's what drives me and what makes me get up at bed. I used to do sports professional when I was younger, and I was always obsessive about wining, up to putting tremendous hours into it. My self-analysis, maybe completely wrong, is that I carried it into my adult life, but can't find nothing meaningful to compete in now.

[ThrustVectoring]

At a fundamental level, the important question is "what do I need to be okay with my life?" If you don't know what you need, it's extraordinarily difficult to figure out how to get it.

For me, it's enough money to not have to worry about finances, a tolerable working environment, a few meaningful relationships, and a couple avenues for giving back to my community in a concrete manner. I don't have nearly the competitive focus that you do, and it definitely sounds like you need an outlet for it. Speed-running super mario 64 could be a good option if you want the status points. Or if you're secure enough financially to fail at it full-time, getting into sales would be fantastic for you.

[taway_1212]

Maybe try climbing the career (mgmt) ladder?

[scalatohaskell]

perhaps. I'm contracting now though, so it's impossible. I thought that maybe if I get in -> fix/build stuff -> get out, it will be exciting enough.