[fomojola]

Clearly it needs the following 3 things: 1. It needs a fake calendar that is randomly populated with meetings. 2. It needs to randomly require that you open Google Hangouts and chat with other users. 3. It needs to send random Slack notifications.

[majewsky]

> 1. It needs a fake calendar that is randomly populated with meetings.

While we're on this, can everyone please post their favorite ridiculous meeting title that is really real? I'll start with a recurring meeting series from last year that was called "mid-sprint calibration".

[lmkg]

Recurring weekly appointment "Hunt for Breakfast"

(We eventually found out Hunt was a person's name).

[smnrchrds]

It still doesn't make sense. Unless you were having Hunt for breakfast.

[neilsimp1]

Canceled: Weekly <Project name redacted> Project Update

This was the title of an actual, not cancelled, meeting in Outlook.

[nneonneo]

"Site visit, cum lunch".

[neilsimp1]

Do you work at Pornhub?

[nneonneo]

Ha, no. It should have been "Site visit-cum-lunch", i.e. a visit that is also a lunch, but someone didn't quite enter it correctly...

[spiznnx]

Now that "w/" is well understood there is no reason to ever use "cum", except maybe in phrases that are entirely Latin.

[Toenex]

'cum louder' was once spotted on a CV under the education section. Damn that spell checker... I hope.

[btym]

Weekly [Team You've Never Heard Of] Office Hours (sent to everyone in the company)

[Cerium]

"Monday Morning Meeting", routinely lasted well past noon.

[taormina]

Monday Morning Meeting on Tuesday (MMMOT)

[werber]

Tacos, Tequila and Brainstorming (bi-weekly, friday late afternoon)

[b3lvedere]

- Teambuilding (mandatory) - Brainstorm session (mandatory) - Beer

[chrishepner]

- Leadership Content Ideation - Monthly Numbers Meeting

[xz0r]

Brown bag

[jordanmoconnor]

Mandatory Communications Meeting

[rb1]

[project name] iteration scrum Actual update

(with the random capitalisation of actual)

[patmcguire]

Google has a weekly meeting called TGIF every Thursday.

[njloof]

Boov Ear Discussion

[wjakob]

beer o'clock

[QuantumGravy]

> 1. It needs a fake calendar that is randomly populated with meetings.

Not enough to compete with the real deal. Has to have multiple team calendars, so it can support conflicting mandatory meetings so people can bitch at you on Google Hangouts and Slack afterward for missing the ones you didn't attend, even though you'd told everyone in advance that you couldn't make it.

[jff]

Don't forget the same meeting populated 2-3 times because somebody set up a recurring meeting invite and then made a new one and the old one never really deleted properly so you've now got the same meeting twice from 2:30-3:30 every Thursday.

[cbhl]

If it's a video game, couldn't you still use real chat apps to chat with real other users?

[SamBam]

Maybe I quit before I got to this, but I would add:

4. Time-sensitive pop-ups: things that force you to act NOW instead of ignoring them.

[GFischer]

Yep, you did quit too early. That's a thing in the game.

[ed_cr]

ha ha yes random calendar items