[wolco]

It's like the programmer who applies to 150 jobs. The programmer cannot do the research on all 150 so the interviews lack the personal connection. Far better to focus on the 10 you really want do the research and put in the effort to really wow the interviewer.

[monksy]

> Far better to focus on the 10 you really want do the research and put in the effort to really wow the interviewer.

Sounds like you haven't been on online dating before.

[wolco]

I have and been successful but maybe things have changed in the last 10 years.

You never meet someone right away, first you instant message on the platform. At some point you move into a chat program offsite and in a month you started talking on the phone. 6 months later you meet. Over that half year you develop a friendship when you meet you have tons to talk about. The buildup adds excitement and unless you look nothing like your picture your looks are already accepted and seeing you in person increases that attraction.

If you try to rush the process you better have outstanding physical qualities or great style or money or luck because every relationship needs a base. You are better off going to a local minecraft meetup. Everyone attending will feel they have someone in common and you can build off of that.

Start by building a low risk relationship with daily contact points. That will create the base for a successful friendship which is what you need for a successful relationship.

[monksy]

Things have changed drastically since you've been on there. If you flounder for more than 2 days you're likely just to get dropped or they'll move on.

Usually I ask the woman out for drinks after 2-4 round trips on messages.

[Kalium]

Online dating has the wrinkle that focusing on the 10 you really want and putting in the effort to really wow the interviewer doesn't always produce a higher success rate. The rise of Tinder has accentuated this.

[rockostrich]

I don't think the comparison to applying to jobs works. When applying to jobs you have a pretty sizable knowledge of the companies. When online dating, you know very little about each person (the amount of data varies greatly depending on the service and person). You can't know if you're going to like someone until you meet them in person, but you can have a pretty good idea of whether or not you're going to like a company by researching online.

[wolco]

If the dating site allows publicly linking to social media profiles or if you have a real name/number you can do a little research. Identifying common interests or topics to avoid can be helpful.

In my experience you don't really know if you are going to like the new job until after you have been working for a period of time. Research can give you clues but sometimes judging what the position will be like by how it sounds or by what you think you want can backfire. Many times the job changes the moment you are hired or shortly after. The only constant I've found is if you don't have a phone on your desk you will have time to actually do the work which will generally make most people happier.