[webwright]

(source: I've twice left my own companies- both companies continued to grow and prosper after I left).

Personally, I'd suck it up and get the sale done, working hard to make the price as front-loaded as possible. Depending on the buyers appetite for you to keep working there you could:

A) Suggest that you're excited to stay with the business, but if they feel there'd be too many chefs in the kitchen and that you should phase out, you'd like to know about that now... i.e. open the door for them to express how critical you are to the deal.

B) If they DO really want you, push hard for a front-loaded deal (i.e. initial payout versus earn out) and then give notice 6 months after the deal closes. You'll leave some (maybe lots) of $ on the table, but who cares. Selling a company isn't indentured servitude. Someone else owning the company might relieve some stress. If it doesn't, punt.

Broadly-- I'm a believer that happiness is generally internal. If you can't find a way to be happy with this job, I suspect you'll have a hard time with a different one. Starting ASAP, I'd make some changes to see if it makes a difference. Get therapy. Try anti-depressants. Shut off your phone at 6pm and don't open your computer. The sky won't fall. Exercise. Meditate. Try psychedelic mushrooms (only half kidding-- there are some studies that one dose positively impacts depression and anxiety). Eat better. Go into work late AM twice a week so you can take a long walk with your wife. Schedule vacations. Go into the woods a lot (exposure to green space helps depression too). I just read that doing tai chi helps with depression. Schedule weekly lunches with friends.

[bhargav]

Please do not advise people who are clearly depressed to take mushrooms. Always remember that whats an elixir for may be poison for others. Yes, mushrooms do help anxieties BUT it is also known that if you are not in a good mental state, you can have bad trip and a bad trip... is not going to be relieving any anxiety, it will make it worse. That said, maybe Microdosing is okay.

I agree with all of your other points but I think it is important to point out that mushroooms will grab you by your genitals and take you for a spin. Not everyone can handle this. I am speaking anecdotally. These things have been mentioned way to often now. I get that its a new thing, and given that the stigma is no longer there - at least in our community - it is also important to know the 'cons' along with the 'pros'.

[lstyls]

Anecdotally, bad trips do not cause bad feelings after a trip. The overall feeling of improved outlook can result even after a truly harrowing experience.

That said, I agree that downing a bunch of psychotropics is probably not going to solve OP's problems.

[ziikutv]

Okay, I was trying to not put my experience on this website. But here goes

I did some in the first year of uni with a floor mate. Two sober.

When I was on it. I got the feeling as if I was in a prison, and started feeling like I was being experimented on. I got super paranoid and I'm bought I can fall asleep. Tripped for hours in my bed and my eyes were open, though they felt as if they were closed. I was told every now and then I would sit up like the undertaker from WWE and ask how do I get of mushrooms. Lol

Then apparently I went down and upstairs like 10 time. Reaching bottom I, I'd want to come back up. They wanted to get me out of the room but it just made me feel like I was being taken out for an experiment.

After a while, they tried to make me realize I was just tripping. We got downstairs and I yelled okay.. I get it.. I'm tripping balls.

I left out a lot of the details but, it was embarrassing that entire year since people knew I had a bad trip. I felt as if I might have said or done shit I did not remember too.

So, in summary, place, people, time, mental state and stability are all factors to be considered.

Btw on the comedown I was super introspective but could not differentiate it from a placebo.

The point of the original message of mine is to realize that there are no Soma pills (Brave New World reference). Nothing works for everyone. We just need to realize this and not suggest something potentially dangerous to someone who is clearly in a bad mental state at the moment.

OP you'll get through this. Diet, exercise, jogs, meditation will take you a long way. Also, tell your wife everything. She is your wife, you oughta be in it together. Also... if she doesn't get it then don't be upset; anger starts from an expectation.

I wish you the best of luck.

P.s I am going to delete this message after a couple of days since my story is too specific and I want to maintain some kind of annonymity.

Edit: so from my description it should be obvious that I am a socially awkward, introvert who is super self conscious. This is one reason it did not work for me. Think of psychedelics as breaking a mirror of the existence. It is really really ducking intense. I was better off doing it though. My point still stands. I am going to try microdosing when I can.

[gardnr]

There are studies that show a sub-recreational dose is beneficial for depression and for chronic headaches. I haven't met a person yet that suffers from chronic headaches that is adverse to trying a low dosage.

[jordan801]

That said, it's always best to do it with someone who has experience, remains sober, and can guide you in a positive manner. It can be easy to become caught in a negative place, although, maybe not at a small dosage, still ill-advised, in my opinion.

[gardnr]

Definitely not bad advice. Especially if it's your first time trying to dose correctly. It could be easy to get it wrong and it would always be better to have a buddy; like these folks from Netherlands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz9yC6WkWA0

[webwright]

I'm not remotely an expert, but this data seems way more compelling than anecdotes.

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/01/health/hallucinogenic-mus...

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/dec/01/magic-mushro...

http://time.com/4338947/magic-mushrooms-for-depression/

[rz2k]

If you want to delete your comment lower down, you should do it soon. There is a fairly short deadline.

[lstyls]

Anecdotally, bad trips do not cause bad feelings after a trip. The overall feeling of improved outlook can result even after a truly harrowing experience.

That said, I agree that downing a bunch of psychotropics is probably not going to some OP's problems.

[WA]

> Try psychedelic mushrooms

Don't do this. Psilocybin has the tendency to "turn out what's inside you" and might make your feelings much worse. People do get bad trips and the consequence can be panic attacks and severe anxiety for months after the trip. It's incredibly dangerous advice to tell someone "take drugs, despite your psychological problems"

[stupidhn]

>It's incredibly dangerous advice to tell someone "take drugs, despite your psychological problems"

It's far more dangerous to tell people with psychological issues to avoid "drugs".

[dannytatom]

uh, how?

[pure_ambition]

I think they mean legal, prescription drugs. Self-medicating or attempting to resolve mental health issues with psychedelic drugs can be very dangerous and make things much worse. I strongly advise individuals to not trust the advice of random strangers on the internet in this regard.

[repomies691]

"Try psychedelic mushrooms (only half kidding-- there are some studies that one dose positively impacts depression and anxiety)"

As a founder, I generally agree. I have also done mushrooms a lot, I don't know if it is very wise but I enjoy it a lot. I also excercise daily and try to follow other tips you gave, though I'm not into meditation, medication or tai chi. I'm quite happy, but I can't really agree that the situation will fix itself with only these tips. Sometimes there are problems at work that need fixing, and the situation only gets better if you fix them. Often fixing these problems requires lots of dedicated work and leaving your comfort zone. But once they are fixed, you are a little bit happier.

For example:

- Too much responsibilities -> define new roles and delegate responsibilities

- Problematic employees -> try to work out the problem with 1-to-1 discussions, or as a last resort, fire them (or talk them to leave).

- Difficult to retain employees -> find out and research how to make employees more happy at their work. Try to research which perks are cheap and improve employee happiness. Give free candy.

etc.

[trost]

If you'd like the stress relieving effect of mushrooms without the guilt of illegal drugs and all that comes with it, try surfing. Apparently, there was a study with PTSD soldiers - one group took, I think it was some kind of amphetamine, for a couple of days and the others went surfing for a couple of weeks with roughly the same positive effect on their PTSD.

If you want to know more, I read it in "Stealing Fire" by Steven Kotler and Jamie Wheal.

[sebleon]

> I'm a believer that happiness is generally internal. If you can't find a way to be happy with this job, I suspect you'll have a hard time with a different one.

This.

Your job is unlikely to be the root source of your depression. Meditation and introspective thinking will likely tell you what's wrong.

[phkahler]

>> working hard to make the price as front-loaded as possible

This. You say the company is profitable, growing and debt-free. The sale should look more like a purchase and less like financing given the condition of the company. If you're that critical to the function of the company, then a priority should be to reduce that dependence.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succession_planning

It's a thing.

[qguv]

At the risk of sounding obvious: you've identified that your job is the source of the stress and unhappiness. That's certainly not an irrelevant factor, as my parent and sibling comments claim. Make the sale, maybe move to a cheaper apartment, use your newfoud buckets of money to work in your community garden for a month. See how you feel then.