[lacampbell]

I'm always a bit shocked at how many adults I've come across whose parents aid them financially - even when they're working. Aren't they ashamed?

I'm late 20s, and don't have as many friends as I used to in my early 20s. But the ones I do pay their own way. I just can't relate to a grown adult living it up on their parents money.

I do sometimes feel uncomfortable working in software though - I'm from a solidly lower class background, and the vast majority of the people I meet grew up middle/upper middle class. I'm on a middle class salary now, but I don't have the accumulated wealth of the previous generation behind me. My mindset is so different. I'm more ambitious, more protective of my free time, and much more frugal.

[mikeyouse]

Why would they be ashamed? If you have a family with sufficient means and close enough ties that they're willing to help you and make your life a bit easier and less risky, why wouldn't you embrace that?

[lacampbell]

Because I think it's shameful not to be financially self-sufficient. it's an important part of adulthood. To me regular financial help from your parents is something a child or teenager receives - it's an allowance.

I'd like to think that if the generation before me had some money knocking about, that I'd have the same attitude. Let them spend their hard earned money on a cruise or a holiday, rather than supporting their grown children who are already well into adulthood themselves.

[mikeyouse]

I get that from a "protestant work ethic" sense, but just because people get help from their families doesn't mean they're incapable of being self-sufficient.

This is a part of the reason that many wealthy families stay wealthy. Whether it's a down payment, help with rent, or the understanding that they'll be a backstop if everything falls apart, it lets the next generation take risks that would be completely imprudent otherwise.

I think a lot of parents of millennials understand how much harder life is for young people today too. With school debt, salaries that have stagnated since the 1990s, and housing prices that won't stop increasing, it's a completely different world than the one they grew up in.

> Let them spend their hard earned money on a cruise or a holiday, rather than supporting their grown children who are already well into adulthood themselves.

To many parents, there is literally no more meaningful way to spend their money than to confer comfort to their children, no matter how old they are.

[lacampbell]

This fully from my own cultural perspective. It's not a moral judgment or a universal judgment. But if I am honest with myself, I feel it's shameful.

[thrwy000]

That's a pretty arrogant position. A small minority of people is afforded opportunities to live comfortably by themselves. There's nothing shameful about accepting help from people who can help you, if you need it.

[thatfunkymunki]

I agree with you in theory but it's a point of pride to be financially independant for me and my wife. It's nice not to have ANY strings attached to any of the money we make beyond how we decide to allocate our money. That's not necessarily to say that all parents will have strings attached to their aid but maintaining financial independance is something that has substantial value to a lot of people.

[dpark]

I make good money because I lucked into some valuable talents and a lot of lucky decisions. I'm under no illusion that I'm responsible for being born smart and engineering-focused. I'm barely even responsible for getting a computer science degree. It was just the obvious thing for me to do. I lucked into a series of high paying jobs through connections from my university that eventually led me to SV. I'm in Seattle now which is also largely random chance because I moved for my wife's job.

If I'd been born less intelligent or if I didn't have an interest in computers or I'd decided to go teach or write or do a dozen other things I might be dependent on my parents. I don't think there's anything shameful about that. Unfortunate perhaps but not shameful.