[teilo]

Do Not Apologize! That is a recipe for censure, failure, and a permanent record. It is also a way to guarantee the problem will only get worse. Your apology will be used as an admission of guilt, and she will use this against you.

Ignore the advice which others give here to approach her directly. That too is a recipe for disaster. She will use this "one-on-one" time to drum up additional charges against you. You cannot reconcile with her. There is nothing you can say to change her behavior.

You need to go on the offensive, hard and fast. Document everything. Go over her head. Do not back down. Do not let yourself be intimidated. Stay calm, cool, and collected, and then, when you have everything you need, file charges against her with management.

The goal here is to make her toxic behavior rebound back on her. Do not feel sorry for her. She can end this at any time by changing her behavior. Remember: she is her own worst enemy. You are not the problem. She is creating the environment. She should bear the consequences.

If at all possible, foster an "I don't care what you think about me" attitude when it comes to whatever garbage she invents about you. This is to insulate yourself from your own emotional reaction, which will only damage your case.

Remember: Your goal here is not to reconcile with her. Your goal here is to serve your company and their clients with your best work. She is standing in the way of doing that and is attempting to damage your career in the process.

[run4yourlives2]

Are you being sarcastic?

I only ask because this sounds like a great way to escalate the situation and get OP fired. (I don't care how bad she is, she has experience capital and OP does not. She is more valuable to them than he is, end of story.)

An underhanded "I'm going to get you" approach only labels you as a toxic employee. Perhaps she may already have that label with colleagues and within the industry and she is tolerated based on work output. I don't see how it is productive for OP to join that club, particularly with little to no counterbalance.

I'm not sure what type of experiences you have had in your career to conclude that your recommended approach is a good one, but launching a nuclear assault because someone shot a rifle your way is not a very effective solution unless your goal is to destroy everything, including yourself.

[teilo]

No, I am not being sarcastic. I am being a cold realist. This is the path to self-preservation.

I did not advocate an "I'm going to get you approach" in the least. I am advocating the opposite: that the OP distance himself from his own reactions, and take whatever steps are necessary to make her behavior rebound back on her. No tricks or traps. No revenge plotting. No righteous indignation. No character assassination. Cold and careful strategy. Recognize the threat. Stay in control. Collect your evidence. Act to mitigate it using the established means that exist to do so.

She invoked the nuclear option the moment she played the sexism card. This means she feels threatened by his work. Not by him, but by his work. There is no going back once this happens. Anyone who falsely makes or implies such a thing is a direct threat to your career and reputation. You have to treat it like a loaded gun is aimed at you. As I said, she can end this at any time by changing her behavior, which in this case means admitting that no sexism occurred and that she was the guilty party.