[teilo]

No, I am not being sarcastic. I am being a cold realist. This is the path to self-preservation.

I did not advocate an "I'm going to get you approach" in the least. I am advocating the opposite: that the OP distance himself from his own reactions, and take whatever steps are necessary to make her behavior rebound back on her. No tricks or traps. No revenge plotting. No righteous indignation. No character assassination. Cold and careful strategy. Recognize the threat. Stay in control. Collect your evidence. Act to mitigate it using the established means that exist to do so.

She invoked the nuclear option the moment she played the sexism card. This means she feels threatened by his work. Not by him, but by his work. There is no going back once this happens. Anyone who falsely makes or implies such a thing is a direct threat to your career and reputation. You have to treat it like a loaded gun is aimed at you. As I said, she can end this at any time by changing her behavior, which in this case means admitting that no sexism occurred and that she was the guilty party.