[davismwfl]

It seems reasonable that you are suffering some form of depression, even if it is transitory in nature. Good part is that makes you human and no better or worse then anyone else.

Just my 2 cents, but this is part of what becoming independent is all about, you have to make decisions based on the information you have and not focus on the next great thing all the time, nor allow yourself to be insulated in your thoughts so much. Your reality should be, if you received offers all around the same rough compensation, then that is likely the going rate for a new grad with your skill set and presentation in the areas you applied. Accept the best one with the team you feel you fit best with (that is more important then raw compensation) and move forward. You can always change later as you gain some experience. Don't wait for the perfect solution right now, move forward and change if you need to later.

You are still really fresh out of school so you can still accept a reasonable offer and the faster you start contributing to a team the faster you will feel better. Get focused, get organized and accept your reality so that you can change it. I don't care what your reality is, it is always changeable by you. Other people can help, but in the end you are the only one that can act to change your circumstance.

If you need to go see someone to talk through how you feel, do it, don't hesitate. There are too many people afraid to seek out help, go do it, celebrate that you are enlightened enough to recognize it and get the little extra guidance. Most of the time it is that simple, talking it out with someone who has empathy but can help lead you on a path to pull yourself up. You don't sound like you are in a bad situation, just not where you thought you'd be, so it is far easier to fix today then 3, 6, 9 months from now if you do nothing.

Take care, good luck.

[throwAwayXYZ69]

There is a company that told me that they're still interested in me if I ever change my mind.

The job is basically building a news-web application for a client (hardly solving world hunger or any "real" problem) and the pay will be mostly enough to rent and eat.

Do you really think I should just "suck it up" and do it until something better comes in a few years?

Or should I keep sending emails?

[davismwfl]

I'd seriously think about taking it. Even if it is temporary and you decide to move on in 6 months or a year. It isn't ideal in some ways, but it may go a lot further towards helping your mental feeling then you realize.

I'd also agree that you get established with a physician and talk to them. Even a GP can a lot of times help walk you through this while you start your new job etc.

And just cause you take a job doesn't mean you have to stop looking for your passion. Keep up the search but take a job.

[armenarmen]

First gigs often suck, they don't know how good you are yet, so the don't let you touch the awesome stuff. Cool firms won't hire juniors? Well go hack some of that shit with these guys until you got a year or 2 under your belt, then you won't be able to keep firms away from you.

On the depression side, I'm just getting out of some shit like that. A couple things that helped: Sun bathing, sounds silly and vain or whatever but most people are vitamin D difficient

A bit of exercise: ride a bike or walk for 20 minutes a day. This is easy, and just enough to get blood moving and what not.

If you drink, take a month off of booze.

36 hour fasts every other weak. Basically dinner on day 1 no food day 2 breakfast on day 3. It sucks while you're doing but it'll keep your head straight for the next couple days.

There's probably more shit that I've tried, but I do the above on and off. Try one out?

[actuallyalys]

Not the person you asked, but I'd take it. It sounds like not having a job is taking a toll on your mental health. Even if you end up not liking it as you expect, it will likely still give you valuable experience and more information about what you want in your job. For example, you might realize that an interesting stack is less valuable to you than more pay, or vice-versa.

If you don't take it, definitely follow the advice elsewhere in the thread and invest in your health.

I'd also see a doctor about the potential depression. Hopefully, it will go away with the structure of a job, but it's good to be proactive about health. (If you're moving to a new area, you can also establish care with your new GP or primary care physician at the same appointment.)

[dev-ious]

less than 0.1% devs ever get to work on any "real" problem. This is not the time to get hung up on ideals. It's time to hustle.

You have your 5pm-9am time to solve world hunger, make a billion dollars and make world a better place...

[Eridrus]

You should contact the best offers you got first, rather than just the ones who said they would want you regardless.

Focus on team first, but try to avoid getting fucked too hard on salary, it tends to anchor expectations.