[thr303808]

You're right, using twice in three days is enough, but it doesn't move you back to start.

The withdrawals are much lighter compared to what they will be in weeks, or months. Often the withdrawals can be over the next day! So if you have found yourself relapsing, and think that any control over your own actions has vanished overnight? You're wrong! But that's what many actually seem to believe.

Edit: I'd do almost anything to avoid going into full on withdrawal, so I guess I don't mean literal control, but feeling powerless. This reply does not consider benzo, I consider that en even much more dangerous drug for those seriously addicted to it.

[mercer]

It's what many have seen happen again and again, and it's what many have experienced themselves.

I understand what you're trying to do here, and you're not wrong. It's rather more about context and how this works in reality.

Your perspective is correct, in that seeing a relapse as a complete failure can actually make it worse. You're right that the best mindset is to get up again, remember that whatever has been accomplished is not lost at all, deal with minor withdrawal, and get back on the horse (or wagon, I guess).

But the perspective of others here is also correct. One of the most common causes of relapse is thinking 'I can handle it now', is moderation, is forgetting the difficulties and struggles of quitting, forgetting the weeks, months or years lost to continuously failed 'moderation', and taking for granted the positive things that happened since quitting.

To someone who is 'clean', it is absolutely disastrous to think that a relapse is not very dangerous. Because the mind wants excuses to indulge again, and even the tiniest thought that this can be possible without potentially a complete reversion to an earlier situation can be enough of an excuse.

But to someone who just relapsed your message is probably very valuable. I think most people here would agree with that.

The thing is, the number of people around who need to hear that a relapse should scare the living crap out of them is almost guaranteed to be much higher than the number of people who need to hear that it's not the end of the world.

Before relapsing, not relapsing is 100% the correct advice. After relapsing, your message might or might not help. I've experienced many situations where no approach helped after a relapse other than, well, waiting and hoping.

And that's why I think people disagree so strongly. Not because you're wrong, but because your statements, in practice, can be harmful to people reading them.

[darpa_escapee]

> So if you have found yourself relapsing, and think that any control over your own actions has vanished overnight?

No one in this thread is claiming this and I certainly am not.

If your frame of mind, attitude and inclination have shifted so far from what 'makes sense', i.e. staying sober after proving that you're incapable of using without losing control, then pretending it isn't a big deal to use once isn't helpful. It is detrimental. An addict's mind will want to find any excuse to minimize away the problems of using, and if you're at the point where you've willingly used once, you've already started going down that rabbit hole.

> I'd do almost anything to avoid going into full on withdrawal

So would a lot of people. The best way to avoid going through withdrawals after using is to keep on using, hence why a relapse is a problem.