It worked for me in my 20's, but I think if I tried it again in my late 30's, it might make things worse. Mushrooms don't let you hide problems from yourself.
That's a legitimate worry, but it all lifts during the trip, when you realize that it's totally not about that.
This is the reason for the depression lifting, by the way.
Depressed people are stuck in infinite loops mostly involving their 'social self'.
When they trip, they realize that "I" has so many more facets than just the social self (ego) - that "I" is also part (and at the center) of an infinite stream of energy - "Universe" , that time is an illusion, that all living beings are part of the same organism, etc, etc.
There is so much more to "I" than just our "problems", "goals" and "aspirations", but we tend to forget that.
Psychedelics help you remember - and that's why they are so powerful and also scary for the establishment.
It helped me a lot more now (in my late 30s) than it did when I was younger. Now, when you understand "life" a lot better, you can really integrate the experience and derive positive and useful conclusions from it.
> Mushrooms don't let you hide problems from yourself.
That's the entire point in my opinion. It's the closest I've ever come to feeling like I "took the red pill".
I can't speak for others but from my own experience there aren't bad trips. There are only uncomfortable trips. Uncomfortable because they're reveling a truth you don't want to accept.
Did it help you realize that you didn't have problems?
Something like that. This is actually a pretty common sentiment. I know a lot of people who experimented with psychedelics in their 20s who in their 30s have said some variation of, "I don't think I'd want to do them now. I have too many things on my mind."
Nah, for me it's an admission that some things are now harder or impossible to reverse course on. You can't reverse time, and making dramatic changes to your life after you're settled with people depending on you has the potential to upset a lot more lives than your own.
I dunno, I think psychedelics can actually help you accept that fact and rid yourself of any nagging "what if?" questions (i.e. mid-life crisis scenarios, etc). For most people, they're more likely to confirm your sense of identity than challenge it. They're great for helping you rid yourself of your insecurities.
I've had a similar attitude when offered the chance to do psychedelics again (now late 30's, last done early/mid 20's). My unscientific hypothesis, at least in my case, is that much of the anxiety at the idea comes from:
- Everything was more confusing and uncertain back then so it was less of a stretch. With age, I've spent time developing new pathways, habits, and ways of thinking/dealing that I don't take their upheaval lightly.
As a counterpoint, I'd imagine that this is still why they can be useful as well as intimidating. The more set in our ways we get, the less flexible you are during future periods of stress.
- Association of psychedelics with a less certain and more anxious period in my life. I wasn't terribly depressed or anything but looking back...man, those years can be rough and stressful.
I think on some level I can only guess at, the desire to seek new thought patterns and perspectives feels both less appealing and less necessary. Additionally, it carries feelings and associations with the upending of a hard-won equilibrium (or at least relative stability). Not something I take lightly.
Now, that said, I'm pretty sure a mild trip would be enjoyable and I'd probably be fine doing it if the time/place was right. One thing I still stick by: the intense psychedelic journey clearly holds power and appeal for some, but there's really nothing wrong with a mild trip.
I never understood friends who would eat a strip of blotter or a bag of shrooms each. Sure, you get "totally fucked up, dude" but I personally enjoyed feeling like everything just felt a bit novel and looked a bit off rather than not being able to tell where I was at a given time.
I've found that as I get older, I'm in positions where because I have a number of responsibilities to my child, partner, coworkers, and community I have to force myself to put various issues "off the table" for conscious thought.
These responsibilities often entail dealing with a great deal more ethical ambiguity and have far fewer simple answers.
In addition to that, over the years I've learned many new facts about the world which indicate that I'm not as nice or good a person as I had previously understood myself to be.
At least in my case as, I get older I feel have both fewer options and the world is more complex than I had thought it was when I was when I was younger.
So my assumption has been that saying "I don't need to deal with XYZ" is probably far more common as folks get older.
And this doesn't seem to be a bad strategy.
On one hand, most large issues either resolve themselves are outside of any person's actions. On the other hand, I may gain even further insight about things as I age.
So I think that "hiding more from ourselves as we age" is probably normal.
I sure as hell don't have the optimism to look at the world with a head full of acid at this point in my life-- it's a horrible shit show of violence and greed even when I'm sober, and every year the possibility of doing much about it via individual action becomes less tenable.
But who knows, maybe I'll age into having some clearer understandings that will leave me more optimistic as I move into my 40s and 50s. Or get better at ignoring the vast problems.
Out of curiosity, what are some of these new facts about the world you've learned? I'm in my early/mid twenties and I've suddenly become disillusioned with a whole slew of things, and disgusted by things that didn't use to disgust me, it would be interesting to see if some of our discoveries are similar or if they're really different.
It didn't let you hide from your problems the first time, either. But for me, at least, it has gotten me out of my head and back into it with a different perspective on the problems. The stuff you think about it... it is basically fear (which goes away). The amazing part, I think, is that you don't even need all that much to get benefits.
I am in my late 30's now, and luckily I'm in a position to take a trip to Amsterdam every year or two - and that is after not doing it for years and years. I now find it a part of keeping myself psychologically healthy. I come back with a slightly altered life outlook. The worst part, for me, is that I usually can feel daily anxiety coming back as I come back down - but even that has become less over time and it gives me a better perspective on what those happen to be.
This is the reason for the depression lifting, by the way.
Depressed people are stuck in infinite loops mostly involving their 'social self'.
When they trip, they realize that "I" has so many more facets than just the social self (ego) - that "I" is also part (and at the center) of an infinite stream of energy - "Universe" , that time is an illusion, that all living beings are part of the same organism, etc, etc.
There is so much more to "I" than just our "problems", "goals" and "aspirations", but we tend to forget that. Psychedelics help you remember - and that's why they are so powerful and also scary for the establishment.
It helped me a lot more now (in my late 30s) than it did when I was younger. Now, when you understand "life" a lot better, you can really integrate the experience and derive positive and useful conclusions from it.