Vest in peace or leave?

[throwaway_emily]

Hi everyone,

I am the founder of a startup which was acquired by big G last year. We were trying hard for two years and things were going OK; not great. I wanted to persist but our investors decided to sell us. Monetarily, the deal was good for me, other employees and the investors. Or at least, that's what it felt on the paper. While the investors got their money, we got golden handcuffs for four years. Our product was shut down and now, we are part of different teams here. Some are happy, some are sad, and I am burnt out.

I have vested 25% of my equity and that's more than I could have imagined before coming to the valley. Every day work drains me, I don't enjoy being here. I can change teams but I don't think that will solve the problem. I want to take a break and then do another startup or join a smaller company.

My current compensation translates to about half-a-million a year. While I can try getting a smaller company to match that, I don't think I would be able to perform well, given the burn out I had here in past one year. Am I too short-sighted to wait? Should I leave?

Note: I don't mind posting all the details here since my manager already knows my current state of mind.

[im_down_w_otp]

Define "smaller company". Because half-a-million a year is not likely to resemble anything you'll get from anywhere outside the companies who are known to pay comparatively very, very high IC and mid-tier management salaries (Google, LinkedIn, Netflix, VMWare, etc.).

I know a lot of people working at a lot of very successful "smaller companies" (for my definition of smaller), and none of them make as much as that. This includes many VP's, SVP's, and the like.

[pbarnes_1]

I don't know a single small company that pays out anywhere near 500k/year, so... no. That's 3-4 dev salaries -- unlikely you're worth that to a small company. This level of compensation is only provided by massive companies.

IMHO you're looking at this kind of all wrong. I.e.:

Are you happy with the amount of money your have now? If so, you can leave early.

Otherwise:

Just wait it out?

What are your other options, really?

[jlg23]

Sounds like all you need is a one-way ticket to some beautiful place without internet for a while. Since you say your manager knows your "current state of mind", s(he) should be fine with a sabbatical...

[throwaway_emily]

I tried with two week long leaves but the effect was ephemeral.

[jlg23]

Yes, two weeks don't help at all. You are halfway through and already can count the days until stress begins again.

I had two burnouts and both took me 2 to 3 months of doing nothing to recover from. I did nothing but have breakfast, watch TV, sleep, have lunch, watch TV, sleep, have dinner, watch TV, sleep. I was not back to normal after these 2 to 3 months, I was only at a level where I could go out and see friends again and think about a real holiday.

I barely avoided burnout 3 by leaving the continent and diving into a completely different culture for more than a year. But here also, the first 2 months were just relaxing. Sitting on rooftops in Fez' medina, at Moroccan beaches or in the desert - always doing nothing more than watching the day pass by.

[throwaway_emily]

Thanks. I think I am in same boat as you.

[zer00eyz]

You define yourself as "burnt out" and that you "want to take a break", and your manager is aware. Before you make ANY decision you need to follow your own advice and "take a break".

I highly recommend that you take some time off, and go do something altruistic. Build houses for habitat for humanity, go work in a soup kitchen, dig wells in Africa, what ever you can find that is out side your comfort zone, and more physical than mental.

If you don't have the vacation time to do it (or don't want to use it) then ask for a leave of absence. Your boss is going to probably say NO, and thats an off the cuff answer, but it isn't an accurate one. The cost of replacing you is higher (in actual dollars and intangibles, like productivity of new employees) than letting you take a month off (unpaid/ leave of absence). You may get the "it sets a bad precedent", the best response is to ask for actual numbers to replace you rather than a "feeling" about what might happen. If all else fails give notice.

If you do get the break, put a date on the calendar 2 years out. You can do 2 years standing on your head if you have to. Save as much money as you can and found something else!

As others have said your not going to make any where close to what your making at google at a "smaller company". Unless your ready to found another start up right away, it will be a LONG time before you see that kind of money again.

[himlion]

I'd tough it out for a while if I were you. That's 'fuck you' money anywhere outside of the valley and NY. You have a whole lifetime to do whatever you want after this.

[throwaway_emily]

That's what I want to but everyday feels like a burden.

[msdos]

  Everyday feeling like a burden for 3  years
  is better than
  everyday feeling like a burder for 30 years.

[im_down_w_otp]

Not as much of a burden as absolutely having to work everyday for most of the rest of your life someplace else, which also is going to be fraught with its own soul-sucking qualities. :-)

[mod]

I get it, the money isn't everything. It's hard to go into work. Every task feels like you can't get started on it.

I don't agree much with doing the things you don't want to do. But for that kind of money, you have to do it. Suck it up, do what you can to make it better, and when you have the fuck-you-money, well--tell 'em "fuck you" and do whatever you want, forever.

Vest in peace.

[rajacombinator]

Just do what most BigCo employees do. Half ass it and work on something interesting on the side while collecting a nice paycheck. (And in this case enjoying the delicious Google food.) It seems foolish to not stay at least through the end of year 2. 500k after tax is 2x 250k after tax. After year 2 you can leave in peace.

[tedmiston]

Can you elaborate on how you only have 25% of your equity despite being a founder? Don't you fully vest on acquisition? It sounds like your vesting schedule restarted from scratch.

[throwaway_emily]

Yes. Since we were sold and not bought. It was effectively an acqui-hiring/soft-landing.

[baccredited]

You have a 3rd option: start hacking towards happiness. At a giant company like G there are dozens of interesting projects. Take a positive attitude and get yourself assigned to one of them. Find the projects that interest you and take team members to lunch, find out what they are working on, what they need, etc. This may take months but may change your whole outlook on each day.

PS Don't walk away from that money unless you can replace a huge percentage of it elsewhere.

[quickie69]

Out of interest does the 500k include the vesting from the sold company? Sorry if that's a dumb question I'm not from USA

[throwaway_emily]

Yeah, major component is the RSU grant.

[quickie69]

Hard to advise but I'd err on the side of stick it out unless this job is taking it's toll on your health. Save hard and you can retire in 4. Which is 10% of 40 :-)

[msdos]

Vest in peace.

In 3 years you'd have made a total of $2mil and can retire and do whatever you want.

It's not only ok but also healthy to post this question, because you're full of ideas and want to work on other things. It's not very ok to blow your earnings off. I'd stick it out if I were you and would be happy to trade places.

[saluki]

y, like others have said relax and take in $500k while you can the next two or three years till you are at 100%.

Start planning your next startup now to occupy your mind.

Relax enjoy life . . . take as much leave, flex time, working remote as you can, take cool trips, visit friends have friends over/in town.

Maybe change teams to learn something new.

Learn to play an instrument.

Do things you've always wanted to do but haven't yet that you can do in the evenings.

Bank the money while you can. Not many people can pull in $500k/yr.

Try to enjoy the ride and occupy your mind with other things.

Lots of people have to grind it out at a job they hate just to make ends meet.

If you do start thinking about your next startup don't work on it at work, on work devices of course and be mindful of any IP agreements you have . . .

Good luck, enjoy the ride.

[msdos]

This is also a GREAT opportunity to work on something you typically wouldn't, hacking at night and weekends.

If you were forbidden from launching something for 3 years, what's the biggest thing you could be working on?

[throwaway_emily]

I thought about the same. But the soul sucking day implies that I am doing brain-dead activities at night and on the weekends.

[tedmiston]

> Every day work drains me, I don't enjoy being here.

Most of us don't do startups for the money... obviously it's hard to walk from $500k annually, but if your hearts not in it, that seems justification enough to leave.

[freestockoption]

There was a person at work who was clearly not enjoying their job. My colleague looks at me and asks, "why doesn't he just quit?" I almost responded, "well, I would want the unemployment!" Personally, I was kind of shocked at how he thought that was just a matter of fact of what people do. :) And this was coming from a guy who would disappear for weeks and weeks of vacation to go play team beach volleyball. He got laid off and the guy who wasn't enjoying their job left for a new job.

Due to impending funding issues, bizarre founder decisions, and lack of team work, I recently passed the stage of my startup job from "this feels like my baby" to "this feels like a job". What's been helping me a lot is building something on the side. It's helped me gain new skills, give me ideas of what I want to do, blow off steam, etc.

It's also helped me realize that if I find something I want to do I should do it, but there's also nothing wrong with just having a job as long as I have other things to make up for that. Plus organizations can change too. Sometimes for the better.

Sorry for this nonsense. :)

[lambdafunc]

Just go for the money and try having a peaceful state of mind. Wherever you go you will probably have other issues.

[throwaway_emily]

Thanks. After changing three teams here that's my fear as well.

[ianpurton]

You only gave two alternatives wait or leave. What other alternatives are there ?