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by Nrsolis 3738 days ago
I'm going to post here under my real nick and hope you read my comments:

I was in a depressive state for close to twenty years. The loss of my mother at 10 put me there and instead of getting better I settled into my depression for the next twenty.

Twenty years.

I was irritable and emotional. I had few friends and I made the friends I did have pay for their mistake of being my friend. I made bad decisions and burned bridges. I drank too much. I had zero good romantic relationships and was getting worse. My career, the one good thing in my life, had stagnated. Nobody wants to work with an asshole.

SO one day, after breaking up with a girl, I finally decided to get help. I cried like a baby in the office of a therapist. She got me on medication and in four weeks I was a different person. I combined that drug therapy with talk therapy and completely turned my life around. It wouldn't be a stretch to suggest it's similar to hearing music for the first time or seeing color. I was able to smile and find joy in the world again. By almost every measure, my life improved. Things have only gotten better since then.

I want you to seek help. Make use of the opportunity to completely change the trajectory of your life by getting out of the mindset you're currently in. If you need medication, take it. If you don't, invest time in talk therapy. Find a therapist you trust and who is competent. If you don't like the one you get, find another. DO THE WORK.

Depression is like cancer of the mind. If you ignore it, it'll consume you until there is nothing left. Don't ignore it.

My current happiness is only tempered by the knowledge that I lost so much along the way by ignoring my symptoms. Don't be that guy. We have a small amount of time on this rock. Make it worth your while.

2 comments

Thank you. It's been 40 years. When I was a teenager I didn't think I'd last that long. I will seek a therapist tomorrow. I don't quite understand how I can remain productive at work and everything else is a vast sea of sadness and anger.
You're free to reach out to me if you'd like to talk. I'm not a therapist but I might be able to provide some encouragement and advice on finding a path to wellness.
Which medication changed your life?
Zoloft.

I had a very strong opinion about psychiatric drugs: I hated the idea of them.

But when you are desperate, you'll try anything. And I was desperate.

SO I made a bargain with myself: drugs for a maximum one year. No matter what happened, I'd only try the drugs for one year.

After one year I didn't need them any longer. I was able to understand when I was entering a depressed state and adjust. Knowing what "good" felt like helped me understand what bad" felt like.

That's the bit that causes the growth and why you need to combine talk therapy with drug therapy.

I got lucky and found the right combo for me; someone else might have to try a few combinations to find what works for them.

I just started Zoloft, 10mg, 4 months ago. I was desperate, I just wanted to be happy for Christmas for once, for my children's sake and it brought me back.

(brought me back: ability to smile and laugh. Ability to find amusement watching television [even my wife's shows], ability to think at work. No longer staring out my window wishing everything would end)

I have not put in the work to find a talk therapist, I really think I'm ready to do that now, I'm going to follow up on Monday and find someone.

Here is the thing: the drugs are like a cast or a crutch. They help you heal.

The talk therapy is like learning how to get strong so you don't break bones or lose balance and fall.

They go together. You can do talk therapy without the drugs but that didn't work for me. The drugs got me into the right frame of mind to understand and process emotions. I could be mindful and see when I was irritated because depression was creeping back in.

I don't think depression is something you completely cure. I think it's something you manage your way out of and keep at bay with constant effort. Mental hygiene practiced with a professional goes a long way towards making that happen.

Look, I discussed some really gut-wrenching things with my therapist. I dug deep. I did the hard work. It wasn't fun.

But today I'm able to live without drugs or weekly visits to a therapist. I'm effectively in remission. And let me tell you man: I'm HAPPY.