[markmontymark]

I don't really enjoy getting presents all that much because I've attained a certain comfort in life. But, it doesn't seem to me that I had to consider much or stress a lot about where I could donate gifts or items I don't want. There's Baras Foundation, Goodwill, AmVets, shelters, schools, so so many people happily ready to receive anything you give them.

Ok, you don't want stuff, but spare me the stress you feel around your family/others not understanding you. Use your energy in a more friendly and giving way and maybe you'll find that it's a bonus to receive the chance to get out in your community, meet and share and give to those that could use a leg up.

I bet once you cycle back and tell your family and friends about the people and places and experiences you now have after donating things, they'll understand. Some will have a hard time with it, but I doubt for long.

I get a bonus item every 5 yrs at my company. Couple years ago received a 60" TV, took me all of a minute and one email to a local school in need and they drove over and picked it up.

[philh]

I don't like having obligations thrust upon me without my consent. A gift is an obligation: I need to find a use for it, or at least find somewhere out of the way to keep it until I can get rid of it.

The way I read your comment, you're trying to replace one obligation with another (find somewhere to give it away). You're telling me that this absolves the first obligation ("they'll understand"), and that I'll enjoy the second one ("it's a bonus to..."). I'm skeptical of both of those things: you don't know me and you don't know my family and friends. But even if you're right, I don't want the second obligation.

If I want to get out in the community, I can do that without waiting for someone to give me a gift I don't want.

(As it happens, in my case, I often like the gift more than I dislike the obligation. Maintaining an amazon wishlist is helpful for this. But not everyone is the same, and "spare me" is an unkind reaction to them.)

[markmontymark]

You are filled with what emotions when you:

- donate - after talking to a friend you realize you have something you don't want you can give them - talk to a neighbor and realize you can clear out space in a garage or house or shed by giving them something - just throw something in an alley and someone comes by within the hour and happily loads it up in a truck for use or selling elsewhere

Sorry if you can't see the positive in the effort expended.

Yes, I should not assume much about you. I am optimistic that people don't feel WORSE during the act of giving.

[philh]

That's not the point. If I want to do good, I can choose to do good. I don't want someone else choosing how I do good. If those things are positive, if I feel good about them, then I can do them, whether or not someone has given me a gift I don't want.

[markmontymark]

My "spare me" could really have been summarized as "1st world problems". Giving stuff away to needy trumps my own personal feelings of "obligated to do something with a gift given to me". Maybe I over-prioritize in my head about this kinda thing, but reading OP post about experiencing stress sounds kinda lame or just words from too young a person.

[philh]

"First world problems" is also unkind, you're dismissing someone else's feelings because you personally don't have the same problem.

The guy started a company in 1998, I'm guessing he's not what you call young.