[isnullorempty]

So what are you supposed to do if you are attracted to someone at work, never make a move? Women need to be more forgiving and take it as a compliment, unless someone continues after a clear rejection (which is the definition of harassment).

[hluska]

First, I have been in work relationships and they aren't all they are cracked up to be. They make coworkers uncomfortable and create all sorts of weird situations that my little monkey brain can't process. Unless you are very very strict about boundaries (ie - from 8-5 we are at work, we only work, and outside of those hours we are only in a relationship and we don't talk about work), these relationships are a minefield.

Seriously, if they go bad, they go very bad. If they work, they can be great. But please be careful!

That aside, it depends on your relative levels and how closely you work together.

1. If you are a manager who is attracted to one of your reports, it is never acceptable to flirt. If you can't resist, quit your job first.

2. If you are attracted to your manager, be very very careful. He or she may worry that they have harassed you and that kind of worry makes any sort of positive resolution very difficult. There's a good chance that one of you will end up transferred to a totally unrelated team. If you like your job, it isn't worth taking this kind of a crapshoot.

3. If you are at the same level, ask yourself if you are mature enough to maintain a good working relationship if he or she rejects you. Then, take some time to think over the worst case scenarios. How will you react if you two date for a year, you are madly in love and he or she breaks up with you?? Will you let that boil over into your work world?? What if there is infidelity? What will you talk about outside of work?? If you only have work in common, tread lightly - one of you will move up or out. Then what?? What happens if he or she gets promoted? Will you feel jealous or proud?? Once you have thought carefully about those things, tell him or her how you feel (preferably outside of work hours) and ask him or her out. If the date goes well and you want to go on another date, tell your manager quickly. If the date goes horribly, be cool and don't let it change the working relationship.

Also, for the love of whatever you consider holy. If all goes well, don't do any of that cute dating bullshit at work!! Don't hold hands. Don't call each other pet names. Don't get caught making out in the supply closet!!! :)

[pc86]

You do not need a "clear rejection" to make something harassment. If I've never spoken to someone but I spend ten minutes a day staring at her chest, that's harassment.

If I ask someone out, they say yes, and keep rescheduling 100 times, me continuing to ask them out and not take the (subtle, non-obvious) hint is still harassment.

[isnullorempty]

Looking at someone is harassment now? I must have harassed hundreds of women then, What about thinking about them?

[pc86]

If you are leering at someone day in and day out that is harassment. Is that really a difficult point to understand?

I'm not talking about a glance because a woman is wearing a new shirt. That's not harassment, nobody ever said it was, and asserting otherwise is a straw man. But ogling the hot girl every day is.

[isnullorempty]

Only if it's someone you aren't interested in, if a hot guy you liked made eye contact a few times and smiled it would make your day. Am I right?

[pc86]

Well I'm a married heterosexual man, so the universe of "hot guys I like" is pretty small.

And I don't know why you insist on continuing to argue against points I'm not making. I'm saying continued unwanted advances = harassment, regardless of the existence or lack of "clear rejection." If you flirt with someone at work (what exactly are you being paid to do?) and they reciprocate, it's not unwanted. If you do it once and they don't reciprocate, and you stop, it's not continued.

[isnullorempty]

So it's not the act that's harassment, it's the relative level of attractiveness of the person committing the act. Interesting.