[brogrammer90]

As a person on the wrong side of 30, how can you live with yourself pandering to 20 somethings? I've watched over the years my 40 something coworker do this and it's the most pathetic existence I can think of. It's no surprise he sees a therapist weekly. And yes ladies he's single and ready to mingle.

[dang]

We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10413154 and marked it off-topic.

[xxpor]

>It's no surprise he sees a therapist weekly. And yes ladies he's single and ready to mingle.

This kind of adhom is just not needed.

[amyjess]

I'm 30.

I'm also happily single and childfree, and a lot of my hobbies are more common among young people. I watch the same movies, TV shows, etc. as people in their teens and twenties. I voraciously read comic books.

I don't expect any of that to ever change. In a decade, I'm going to be consuming the same kind of media in my 40s that I consumed in my 20s and am now consuming in my 30s. Being childfree is never going to change (especially considering I voluntarily sterilized myself), and I'm mentally incapable of feeling romantic attraction to anyone, so I'm going to be single for the rest of my life.

It's not pandering: it's simply be being the kind of person I am, which happens to mean that, on average, I relate more towards people younger than me than to people my age, and that discrepancy is only going to get larger as time goes on (mind you, the "on average" is key because I've met and get along with some fellow outliers, not just my age but also older than me).

[magic_beans]

Oh my :/ I don't know you, but this sounds grim.

[amyjess]

What's grim?

I love having freedom. When I say "I'm going to be single for the rest of my life", I don't mean it in a sense of resignation like "aw bummer, I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, this is gonna suck". No, I mean it in the sense of "yay, I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, and it's gonna be so awesome!".

Same with being childfree.

I have the freedom to do anything, go anywhere, and enjoy my life for myself, and I love it.

I'm basically an overgrown kid, with the only difference being that I get paid to take my toys apart, find out how they work, and put them back together in new ways, which I've always done for fun. I love it!

And, hey, my cousins have kids, so I get to be the cool aunt without having to actually spend my life taking care of anyone.

[jqm]

That might really suck in your 60's. Age has a way of happening to us regardless of our preferences and expectations.

[whybroke]

I haven't had a TV since I was a freshman in college and rarely went to movies. It obviously never interfered with my work. Now, after decades of experience, not knowing the latest TV and pop-culture becomes a critical culture fit issue. Interesting extra hurtle in a "meritocracy"

[eweise]

"Being childfree is never going to change (especially considering I voluntarily sterilized myself), and I'm mentally incapable of feeling romantic attraction to anyone,"

Well there you go. Ageism problem solved. Just don't have kids or feelings. JFC

[amyjess]

Oh, I have plenty of feelings. I have lots of people I care about and lots of things I feel strongly about. I love spending time with my friends, and I deeply care about their well-being; I just can't feel that particular way about people.

What it boils down to is that I have absolutely zero interest in taking part in any kind of romantic relationship. The idea of having an SO, or worse, living with one, is actively repulsive to me.

The technical term is "aromantic", which I've begun to shy away from using because too many people like to make puns on "aromatic" whenever I say it.

[enraged_camel]

I think there's a difference between "pandering to" and "relating to". The former refers to artificially trying to fit into and build trust with a group, usually with an ulterior motive (e.g. you want their votes). The latter refers to the ability to take yourself out of your own "box" and make an effort to understand them and find some common ground with them.

And guess what: the attitude you demonstrated is the exact same attitude you blame young people for: you're refusing to adapt to them because they don't fit your own age-defined tastes and characteristics.