[kom107]

I think that an introverted network would actually be more of an asset than an extrovert's network (and FTR, I'm a total extrovert...which took years of work to get to). Hear me out:

When you're an introvert, you tend to be much more cautious about the connections that you make with people and to cultivate them more. Sure, I have a bajillion people to reach out to and socialize with, but if shit hit the fan, it's a much smaller number. I would think that as an introvert, almost everyone in that network would be willing to jump for you.

Don't think of it as networking. You're just attending an event where everyone wants to talk with you. Go up to any random stranger, and ask them what they're working on that they're excited about, or if they've done something interesting lately. Just try to get to know people. When I socialize, I just think about getting to know someone, versus that I'm socializing, or networking. I just want to know about them. Also, don't be dismissive--even if someone is not in your space, you never know who they know, and you might have just met your new best friend. Be kind to everyone. I have Starbucks barista's and Fortune 500 execs on my LinkedIn--and I'm happy to help all of them.

TL;DR: look at it as meeting a bunch of new friends who already want to meet you, stay connected, and help them when you can.

Have fun!

[nonkool]

Thanks, some good pieces of insight there. I noticed you mentioned that it took years of work to get you to being a total extrovert - How did you start out as? What things did you do?

[kom107]

Oh, I was so shy when I was younger. Socially awkward (and I was just smart enough to know it), nervous, didn't want to talk with others at all, really. Now, I love it.

I started very small and very simply: I started reading etiquette books (this was as a teenager). No joke. If you think about it, they're just really 'how to' books that cover a lot of social situations (I still have a copy of Debrett's). Anyway, so I started there and began to add what I read into my everyday social interactions. Things got a bit easier. From there, I actually joined greek life in college. Sure, it gets a bad rap, but I very quickly learned how to become very comfortable in social situations because I FORCED myself into a setting that was, by nature, incredibly social. As an adult, I'd suggest getting involved in some activity that you enjoy that has a heavy social aspect...and also NOT with people who are JUST LIKE YOU (i.e. don't go to meetups for just coders or engineers). I also held two sales jobs and volunteered at a phone bank to call people and ask for donations for a good cause. Cold-calling people and sales were really helpful because it gets you incredibly comfortable with rejection--which, if you really think about it, is, IMO, the reason those of us who are naturally shy are shy--there's a small worry about rejection, or at least nervousness around 'maybe this person won't like me'. If you get rejected enough, you literally don't even notice anymore.

Those were the things that I did that I believe had the biggest impact. Hopefully you can take some of my experiences and make them work for you. Have fun.