[marincounty]

I felt like you do now when I was your age. I had a nervous breakdown, in part because of my extreme fear of death. After the breakdown, I knew my life was over. Meaning the life I envisioned for myself was over. I just wasn't the same person. I felt like an alien.

Well, as the years went by, I managed to survive. Dying young is an anomaly. It's rare. Do what you want in your life, but you will probally make it to old age. It does go by quick, so have some fun. In my case, the fear of death lessened as I got older. The lessening of the fear of death might be the only thing that age offers? No--most fear went down with each year that passed. Some of it was learning? For instance, for years, I didn't declair a bankruptcy because I optimistically overstated my income on a credit card application. I talked to a good lawyer, and he said "You along with everyone else!". "Of course--no one admits it though?" (I not stating it's good to lie, but knowledge lessens fear. Along, with a good lawyer? Oh yea, if you live a risky life; get to know the legal system. Know those statute of limitations.) Again went off base, I just saying you will statistically make it old age.

[twitmwu]

I've spent the past few weeks going through the nervous breakdown you describe in your first paragraph.

A few years worth of stress (life/startup/etc.) managed to explode in a single night thanks to a rather traumatic experience with alcohol and hallucinogenic drugs, and in the weeks that have followed I've come to realize my anxieties come from this extreme fear of death/impermanence.

I'm still taking things day by day, and the panic attacks are passing more easily every day. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience. Reading little things like this from other people has helped me more than I can express :)

[ak39]

Take it easy fellow "extension of this universe"! We are all in this together.

Like Alan Watts said "You are something that the whole universe is doing .... in the same way that a wave is something the whole ocean is doing".

I can't remember anything before I was born. That wasn't painful at all. Why should I assume that it will be different after I'm dead?

I'm sure even Marcus Aurelius got tired of talking about death at some point and simply went out to get a beer or hug a warm body. Let's go do that. :-)