Around Willow Springs it's slower than a Ford Mustang Ecoboost (0-60 5.2s, 310hp), and around Laguna it's close to 3 seconds slower than a VW Golf R (0-60 4.5s, 300hp)
The Tesla is a luxury barge after all, not a sports car, so these results shouldn't exactly be surprising.
Exactly, yet people who have no clue about cars will say that because it has a faster 0-60 time it's a faster car. Teslas marketing department is damn good.
Smooth, effortless acceleration is definitely a luxury feature, too. This is exactly why 6 figure luxury sedans often have very powerful V8s, V10s, or even V12s.
Just don't confuse that with being a fast car, at least not around a track.