[organsnyder]

Please, get in touch with family and/or a mental health professional. It's touch to tell from this brief post, but I wonder if you might be suffering from depression or another illness. This could easily lead to difficulty with getting work done, as well as having the confidence to endure the emotional roller coaster that job-hunting often entails.

More to your question: I'm not sure if you're currently employed or not. Either way, it looks like you need to find a new job, so that's what I'm focusing on.

Almost all of my job prospects have been from people I already know. In fact, my next job (starts in two weeks) came out of a chance encounter at a conference (I happened to sit at the right table for lunch). If you're job-hunting, you should be going to at least one meetup or other tech event per week—ideally more. Also, keep networking even when you're not actively looking—you never know when that might pay off (or you might be able to benefit them) in the future.

Think of anyone that you know that might have a lead—former professors, friends, people you know from church or other social organizations, etc.—and see if you can meet them over coffee. Applying for a job with an inside connection is much more effective than applying blind.

I've been where you are—I had an unconventional resume, and the wrong bullet points on my resume (tons of Java experience in an area where most of the big enterprises are on .NET). It sucks. The feeling of repeated rejection is soul-crushing. The amount of perseverance needed is staggering. But, I can say with a high amount of certainty that you can get through this. Don't be afraid to ask for help—no one should have to go through this alone.