| I was in a very similar situation. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life when I was 18, was angry about a relationship that ended (I had no skills for dealing with it at the time), so I got into drinking and drugs and made a lot of bad choices (which eventually landed me 10 years of probation). I ended up working a string of minimum wage jobs before finally finding a factory job that was hard, but paid a little more ($13/hour). Since I really wanted to be a professional drummer and tour with a band, I figured that I needed to learn a skill that I could do on the road. I decided to start studying web development and graphic design. I worked a bunch of overtime, bought a used macbook, and started spending all my nights and weekends studying (I have a friend who calls this the Overlap Technique; google it). After a couple years, I had learned enough to get an (unpaid) internship at a small web design agency. That eventually gave me the confidence to start taking on freelance clients when the opportunities came. The hardest part was learning to like myself again. By the time I was 20, I was overweight at 260 pounds (I'm 5'll). I started making small changes to my diet (stopped drinking soda, started eating healthier foods), and I started walking, exercising, riding my bike around town, etc. I lost 80 pounds over the course of three years, and I felt and looked really good. I was also fortunate enough to find a group of cognitive therapists who were really smart and really kind who helped me understand the thought patterns that were making me fuck up my own life. I had two major breakthroughs; the first was after taking shrooms (not a recommendation, mind you) I realized that I could make my life be whatever I wanted it to be. I had control over my decisions, and they would shape my life. The second was that I had to stop giving a fuck about what the people who didn't know me had to say about the poor choices I made in the past. I understand why I made those shitty choices, and I won't be making them again. If someone wants to be a dick or refuse to work with me because of a bad choice I made in the past, they aren't someone I want in my life anyways. I turn 30 in two months. I have a solid source of income from multiple clients who I have good relationships with (they've never asked for a background check), a nice girlfriend, and plenty of friends who know about my past and still respect me for the person I am today. They can't even comprehend the level of shithead I was back then because today I am nothing but kind, respectful, encouraging and helpful to everyone I meet. I hope this helps. |