[thotpoizn]

I'm sorry, but no. "Ironically, the only real way to achieve this" - is to achieve this. I met my wife almost 25 years ago. We were both homeless at the time. We found each other, loved each other, and despite ridiculous odds against us, found a happy and successful life together. A big part of that was me pulling my head out of my ass and doing things for "us" instead of doing things for "me".

The trajectory I was on before I met her was juvenile, selfish, and stupid. Then all of that changed rather dramatically: I met the woman who would become my wife, and she made me want to grow up and step up. My situation changed, when my mind changed.

[nate_meurer]

You got lucky. Sounds like your wife got lucky too :)

But for every one of you, I'll find ten others who expected a relationship to pull them off a bad trajectory (esp. addiction), and instead found someone who enables, and often shares and promotes, their self-destruction.

[c22]

I'm really happy for you and it's that sort of change in focus that I think is hugely beneficial, but either your situation was atypical or you had more going for you than you think. It's not about "being" somewhere or achieving anything specifically, it's more about attitude.