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The two biggest things that jump out at me here: - you feel like you're performing well, but are being told you're not up-to-snuff - you're already worried about working 12 hour days and having to sacrifice your work/life balance with your spouse-to-be Aside from valid comment about learning to move quicker, perfection is the enemy of good, etc etc.. it seems like you need to evaluate your working situation as a whole. You believe that you're performing well. Your code is stable, there's top-down acknowledgement that you're pushing towards tested and maintainable code. Yet, you're being told you're... slow. Now, maybe that's true. All engineers operate at different speeds. With a proper manager, though, assuming you're not going amazingly slow, they should see this and understand it. If one of your best qualities is being pushed as one of your worst, then management is doing you a disservice, instead of being able to position you get better. Also, consider that you're working 12 hour days. I could, with a little hyperbole, say that you're already married to your job. :) This is already a weird situation. Are you part of an on-call rotation? Is it a busy season? Does your company give out bonuses frequently to acknowledge this extra work being put in? Consider the psychological and physiological effects of being worried about what your manager thinks of you, getting married and, potentially, the traditional planning rigamarole that goes along with it, along with physically sitting at a computer for 12 hours, all while dealing with the other things normal humans might have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. It's a corrosive situation. It's a negative feedback loop. What I'm saying, if anything, is that it sounds like maybe you're ready to explore other opportunities. Changing jobs isn't simply for making a salary jump. There are a lot of great companies out there who value the qualities you (not the general "you", you) possess and have the right management to make sure that your greatest strengths stay that way, and are applied beneficially without being perceived as a risk or liability. There are also companies where working a normal day, without extended hours, is not only normal, but jokingly enforced... because many companies do actually respect work/life balance. :) |