[mildbow]

They aren't mutually exclusive: being nice or not is a tool in your toolbox for all interactions.

You can be nice all the time, but that doesn't mean you'll be effective all the time.

It's crazy to me that we engineers are so focused on hacking systems but seem to denigrate hacking personal interactions as if it's something dirty blah blah[0].

[0] copied from my other comment.

[zobzu]

I noticed that being nice and pretty good all the time brings you nowhere vs anyone being meh and pretty bad all the time.

I think that's the whole point too, there's a lot of details but in the end - if you're nicer than the other guy, he'll exploit that.

In yet another set of words - which while funny is actually exactly the same concept:

batman: i'll always beat superman, he has a strong weakness.

people: kryptonite?

batman: no, he's a nice guy, i'm not.