|
I'm having a hard time writing this comment because it's bringing up so many bad memories. My grandfather, and father died of liver cancer. Their deaths were horrid, but the agony my father went through was beyond painful. Alcohol use in our family was encouraged. I probally should stop writing because I'm feeling physically sick now, but I want to finish this. While my father was not a kind man, I can't blame his personality on just the alcohol. He was actually easier to be around when he was drinking. Growing up and through my adulthood, there was one thought he shared with me in so many conversations. It was this, "I really think I would like the feeling of opium?" As a child, I didn't really know what he meant? I knew he was talking
about drugs--and I found it weird because my father didn't break the law. As a child, I wished my father could relax. He was always so tense. I remember praying for him. At that point in his life he was a light drinker. As I got older, I realized what he was getting at with all those Opium comments. I realized I couldn't relax either. I tried to fight the urge to settle my nerves with alcohol, but I eventually had a nervous breakdown(life, 20's, genes, not alcohol related), and the only thing that slightly settled symptomology was alcohol. I finally found the right psychiatrist, and he gave me some relief with medication, but it wasn't enough. For years alcohol is the only thing that helped me get through the day. Fifteen years go by and I'm finally prescribed a drug that settled my nerves, but I don't know what damage I did to my body? When I read her post, I remember how my mom blamed All my father's problems on alcohol. She would yell, scream and through objects at him. It got so bad, I think he was drinking more because she was so angry? My mother didn't drink. My mother was just an angry person. She had a good heart, but the anger always got the best of her. She was basically angry with herself, angry over her childhood, and looking for a scapegoat. My mother lightened up as she aged, but used my father's alcoholism as an excuse to vent her emotions. When I read this article, I felt bad for the wife, but I remember how my mother blamed everything on the drinking.
I'm not saying his wife is like my mother. I don't know why this professor drank himself to death. I'm just slightly taken back when I read stories like this. I wonder if a story like this would be published if the genders were reversed? I am in no way questioning this lady in any way. I do have extreme empathy for most alcoholics though, especially the one's that are self-medicating. There are some drugs that alleviate the need to drink, but they are only prescribed by a small percentage of Doctors. In the U.S. these drugs are currently under fire by politicians. Doctors are becoming reluctant to prescribe like they used to. I'm not going to name the drugs because I don't want to expose my identity, but one of the drugs is Klonopin(A benzo with a long half life). My wish is politicians would leave medical doctors alone. Again, I'm not questioning this lady. I know she suffered. I am guilty of spilling out my own problems? |
What was it?