[misiti3780]

I go out in NYC alone all the time, on weekends, for fun - Mostly I do it because my friends are doctors and cant go out because they are on call - I wish I would have realized much sooner how much fun you can actually have - at a bar, alone on a Saturday night in NYC

I think there is a stigma attached going out alone though - I have random people ask me if I am alone and seem surprised by the answer. I do a lot of other stuff alone also, such as eating a restaurants, walking, etc. Going out alone is the most fun because there is alcohol involved.

Moral of the story: You can still have fun, but if you have a girlfriend, wife, or good friends, it's definitely better than doing things alone (IMO)

[QuantumRoar]

> I think there is a stigma attached going out alone though - I have random people ask me if I am alone and seem surprised by the answer.

I've been doing things alone a lot since I moved to another city. And it really seems weird to the people I talk to.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"No."

"Are you alone?"

"No. Look around. There are so many people here."

I think the article is quite correct with the spot light theory. People are way too concerned about what others might think. So it actually seems to be a good thing that I mostly don't care about that.

One downside for me is that – I asked a random stranger about that – it seems I don't look approachable. She said, it seemed to her that she needed to say something smart to me rather than just asking me if I want to have a drink with her. I haven't figured out what the reason is but I would really like to change that.

[dopeboy]

>> I think there is a stigma attached going out alone though - I have random people ask me if I am alone and seem surprised by the answer.

This is the hardest part to combat, especially at a bar when there's no attraction (say, a sports game) on. There is such an intense expectation for group social activity in nightlife that makes it very hard to go solo.

For this reason, I almost never have a good time going out to a bar by myself so I'm surprised you enjoy it. Theatres and restaurants, on the other hand, I have much better luck with.

[misiti3780]

i agree - i think it is important to not look at your phone or a tv (when you are out), the reason you are out is to presumably meet people and have fun. the easiest way to avoid this issue in my experience is

* make sure the bars you go in are crowded.

* given (1), always look for a long line for a drink, it gives you a lot of time to start a convo

* never sit down, always be standing (makes it it easier for people to approach you)

* go out later at night, people are more intoxicated and are more willing to talk (for better or for worse)

if a random person asks me if i am alone these days, i usually just tell them i am waiting for a friend that is running late and they drop it - but if i follow that check list, i never run into that situation anymore anyways.

I hate sports and dont follow them so I can never use them as a conversation starter. i live in NYC and this works in the Lower East Side / East Village / West Village - San Fran might be tougher - not sure

[Maven911]

Ive done the same in NYC but never truly enjoyed any of those alone experiences

[misiti3780]

are you drinking when you go out or no? also - which neighborhoods did you try ?