[throwaway183839]

Kind of off topic, but your comment reminded me of something that I've wondered about for a couple of months.

I was in the US (NYC) last year and went to a music event at a bar. My girlfriend and I were there an hour early, so we grabbed a table of four near the front (we were meeting two other friends). When our friends arrived and sat down, we noticed that someone had left a jacket on one of the chairs at our table while we were sitting there (it wasn't there when we took the table).

We were a little confused but our friends sat down anyway. Right as the show was starting, an older guy came up and said that we were in "his" seat, as it had his jacket on it. He was pretty angry that we'd taken "his" seat, and we didn't feel like an argument, so we let him drag the chair off somewhere else, but it felt like he was being a bit of an asshole.

Is this a social thing in the US that I just don't get (I'm British) or was the guy just being an asshole?

[craigds]

Probably cultural. Where I'm from (NZ) chairs sorta belong to the table; you wouldn't take a chair from a table or hang your jacket on it if there's someone else sitting there, at least not without asking first.

I had a similar experience in a food court in Bangkok. My wife and I bought our food and sat down at a table that had some bagged food on it (since there weren't any clean tables available). Assuming it was someone's leftovers that they neglected to trash, we just moved the food to the side since there wasn't a rubbish bin nearby.

A few minutes later someone came up and angrily told us that was his table and it was his food, and he demanded we find another table.

Really confused but not yet learning our lesson we moved to another table and moved some more food aside. Another man yelled at us, this time even angrier.

Seems it's pretty common for people to buy one thing, take it to the nearest empty table to 'reserve' it, and go elsewhere and get more food.

I guess when you're in someone else's country you just have to realise that you probably are the asshole and apologise, even though it doesn't make much sense :S

[meric]

Maybe he was alone, he went to buy a drink and came back to find his seat taken? I wouldn't be too surprised if leaving your jacket to claim a seat is a common practice among older generations. If I imagine the setting to be 50's/60's, and watched it in a movie, it would seem you were the assholes. At least offer him a space in the table to join you. Alas, this is the modern times, so my critique does not apply, it's only a suggestion why the older man might be angry.

[thoman23]

TIL I am part of the "older generation". Kids today don't know to leave a jacket on a chair or movie theater seat to claim your territory?

Regarding the original question, the couple that arrived early should have "claimed" the two empty chairs by placing jackets or some other items on them. Failing that, they should have been alert to the "older" man who put his jacket down on it and immediately stated that the seat was already taken.

[meric]

I agree with you - but I've done that myself and still had my seat taken before, even with my stuff on the table, it only got moved to the corner! I only went to the bathroom and back. I told him to get up, he refused, and I only got it back after insisted he give me 10 minutes to finish my work - and then I gave it back to him (he was with his friends so he didn't want to be humiliated). My description of modern "etiquette" was descriptive, not prescriptive.

P.S. I specified older generation because the parent specified "older man".

[fiblye]

Well, I don't know about the "older generation", but I grew up being taught all throughout life to not leave any of my belongings anywhere unless I want them to get stolen.

Whenever I'm out somewhere with someone else and they set anything down on a table (jacket, hat, notes, wallet, anything) and get up to use the restroom, they say, "Make sure no one takes anything." I say the same.

I'm not sure if this is just a generational thing that follows from "stranger danger" or what.

[ownagefool]

On the other hand, it sucks when you can't get a seat in a half empty venue because everything is 'reserved'. Often myself and my girlfriend can spend a couple of hours somewhere standing, only to leave without these seats ever getting filled.