[lotsofthrows]

> Don't self-medicate with alcohol, "drugs" (the non-prescription kind), promiscuity, video games, or other things that numb you. As the psych meds take hold, you'll be able to get up, but you'll be dragged back down as well.

poignant. I either have at one point or actively self medicate with all of the above.

> Be very conscious of suicidal ideas as you heal. The real danger point for depression-driven suicide isn't when things are so black you can't even get out of bed. It gets dangerous when you start feeling energetic again. Then you have enough energy to hurt yourself. Have a support group or friends who understand, and check in all the time.

this is valuable, thanks. I tend to be very private about anything concerning my mental health, but this makes me consider sharing it with a friend I trust who I can check in with.

> Consider getting a new job now. It might help you to have a fresh thing to care about, and getting fired from your existing job will only hurt you.

this is something I've considered very strongly. I'm a bit hesitant because I worry I'll fail to produce in my new position (if i don't take the time to heal), but it's definitely worth considering.

[beat]

Please, make sure you have someone keeping an eye on you. I've lost friends to suicide, but never while they were really at the bottom... it was when they were on the way back up. It takes real attention to watch for that.