[Arjuna]

1. "That means if my project sucks then I go into a slump, and if my project turned out to be great then I am elated."

In my estimation, the only way to break this cycle, to really exit this emotional roller-coaster that you are riding is to:

Let go of the results and focus on the quality of your effort.

For example, check yourself against this question:

"Am I giving 100% to the quality of my effort, in this moment?"

To elaborate: when you build your wall, are you focusing on the wall, or are you focusing on laying a single, individual brick, with the best quality, ability and focus that you can muster?

If you focus on the wall, then you are focusing on the end result. I recommend shifting your focus on laying each individual brick, which is a focus on effort, on process... a focus on execution.

2. "Basically I have pretty bad self esteem and I feel like I compensate for it by trying to do more and more projects."

Your self-worth should be based on your entire "package", if you will. It is complex, but it includes how you treat others, the light that you bring to the world, the light that you bring to your friendships and relationships, your helpfulness and respect toward your family, what you bring to your work... I'm fond of saying, "It's how you bring it." You want to be someone that "brings it." You want to be firing on all cylinders.

And so, this feeling of self-worth is tied to every single moment, not to results, which are ultimately ephemeral, and are only a small piece of the equation. Ultimately, results will fade, and may not always be what you expected anyway. But, if you focus on execution and process, you will be better-served to end the emotional roller-coaster of self-doubt, because you will know that you are bringing it, you will know that, "No matter what the results are, I delivered to the best of my ability. I strive to bring it in every moment, and I strive to better the process, and to serve and help those around me."

Judge yourself (and others) in this manner, and I think it will serve to change your life, to change your perspective.

Wishing you all the best.

[smacktoward]

> "Am I giving 100% to the quality of my effort, in this moment?"

Exactly.

Stephen Mitchell's translation of the Tao Te Ching (buy here: http://www.powells.com/biblio/1-9780061142666-0; full text here: http://acc6.its.brooklyn.cuny.edu/~phalsall/texts/taote-v3.h...) is one of my favorite books. It has some things to say on this subject:

   Express yourself completely,

   then keep quiet.

   Be like the forces of nature:

   when it blows, there is only wind;

   when it rains, there is only rain;

   when the clouds pass, the sun shines through...

   He who stands on tiptoe

   doesn't stand firm.

   He who rushes ahead

   doesn't go far.

   He who tries to shine

   dims his own light.

   He who defines himself

   can't know who he really is.

   He who has power over others

   can't empower himself.

   He who clings to his work

   will create nothing that endures.

   If you want to accord with the Tao,

   just do your job, then let go.

[erikpukinskis]

I really like this answer. Thank you for articulating it so well.

My one hesitation is that I think a lot of people get satisfied with trying their best within a crappy system. And sometimes you really need to be stubborn and say "no, this isn't good enough. We need to aim for a better end result.

It's not a healthy way to measure yourself, but it makes you desperate to try things that you wouldn't normally. And some of those things will work. And we all benefit from the discovery of a new "ceiling".