[freehunter]

I disagree. You'll have plenty of time for learning, for thinking about the content of your studies, for the library, for dedicated focus later. You're only young once.

Now I'll agree that getting wasted every weekend is a very bad idea. You will end up dying a painful death very early in your life. But it's a good idea to go to parties. It's a good idea to have fun, to live. Doing what everyone else is doing isn't always the best advice, but sometimes it's the best advice. You have to use your (unimpaired) judgement. I wouldn't have half the friends I have now if I hadn't spent nights puking right beside them. Now as an adult with a professional job, if I want to make new friends, the only way to do that is to have kids and set up playdates. Instead I find myself studying, reading books on the couch next to my wife. When you get older, you lose your ability to party like a college kid. You lose the opportunity to have that kind of bonding experience with your peers.

Young people drinking is a serious issue. You're right, it's harmful to brain development, it gets people in all kinds of trouble, and it can be seriously deadly to the drinker or to someone else they might meet while drunk. That's what makes this really hard to write, because to be honest, I'm not a drinker now but I was in college. And I attribute everything I have to the nights I spent not in front of the books, but in front of the crowd, dancing with a lampshade on my head.

So don't drink. You don't have to. Don't do drugs. Don't put yourself or others at risk like that. But seriously, if you're in college DO SOMETHING SOCIAL. Don't, DON'T sit in the library while your youth passes you by. Sit in the library Monday-Thursday. When Friday rolls around, go hang out with your friends. Because trying to make college-style friends as an adult is 100% impossible.

[dreamweapon]

But it's a good idea to go to parties.

It seems you're plainly misreading what I was saying. Not only did I not say you shouldn't go to parties, I specifically said you should go to parties, at that age. My only point was you should go there to socialize, and not for the alcohol.

And I attribute everything I have to the nights I spent not in front of the books, but in front of the crowd, dancing with a lampshade on my head.

That's fine for you, I guess. Something tells me what might have thought the other a bit "square", and hence avoided each other, in that life phase. Which is also fine.

But again, I never said you should trade parties and friend for books; only that you should definitely trade alcohol for books, by and large, during those years. And I for one am definitely very, very grateful for those nights spent in front of books, and not on someone's back porch getting wasted, when I was 14-21.

The only other point I'd like to clarify is that while I definitely do advocate becoming intimate with your local university library (and yes, spending more than the occasional Friday or Saturday night there), at one point or another -- the best time for that is probably when you're in high school, not college. During HS most parties suck anyway -- as do most of your so-called "friends" -- so you might as well be an outcast, and do something constructive with all of those precious hours (in front of a laptop, on a keyboard/drumkit -- or in the book stacks).

[freehunter]

I wouldn't say plainly misreading. If you actually originally meant what you just clarified, it would be a misunderstanding, but not a misreading, certainly not a plain misreading. What you wrote was:

I have to say that the only reason I made through the system as far as I did was that, aside from a healthy amount of distraction... I really was studying, or thinking about the content of my studies, pretty much all the time.

That's literally all you said. Think about that: I really was studying, or thinking about the content of my studies, pretty much all the time.. I'm saying that's the wrong answer in my opinion. In my view, there is a kind of socialization you can only get in college, and only if you participate. If college was about learning, we would have geniuses coming out of their undergrad and you could never get a skilled labor job without a diploma.

I'm not saying you're flatly wrong. You're wrong in my opinion, but your approach is a valid one to take for some people. I just wanted to offer a dissenting opinion to yours.

I do agree with you 100% that being an outcast in high school will likely have no long-term negative repercussions. High school doesn't matter once you've hit college. I don't regret a single night spent studying rather than partying in high school because I don't remember anyone from high school. But all my college friends are still my best friends, and I've gotten jobs solely because of who I went to college with.