[ars]

Does she see these messages you are writing?

It's a bit of an odd suggestions, but consider having kids. Kids have a way of needing things, that just transcends all the meaningless excuses you have for not getting anything done.

Make it a point that it's YOU that takes them to school, or shopping or whatever. Or if shopping is too confusing to do alone make a point that the whole family goes. That it's you that makes lunches, and checks if they did homework. As infants make it a point that you dress them for bed, even if your SO picks the clothing.

The instinct to take care of kids is wired really really deep in your brain, way below any surface problems. It will easily override them if you let it.

[Double_Cast]

I have zero experience with parenthood. That said,

Raising kids for any reason other than "raising kids" strikes me as terrible advice. I'd be interested in hearing anecdotes of whether raising productivity by having kids is effective (let alone morally permissible).

[ars]

The only reason to have kids is if you think you can do a good job raising them.

It makes no difference why they were born, or how it helped you. The only thing that matters is how you raise them.

There are plenty of people who have children in order to mature, be adults, and progress in life. If you love them, and pay attention to them, and intend to raise them well, it works just fine.

[osi]

pretty much everyone that posts here should have children.

most people here will do a great job raising them. you learn on the job, and via friends and family.

(lest people want the future depicted in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy :)

[IkmoIkmo]

> Does she see these messages you are writing?

Nope, unless she tries to find it. HN is in my favorites and it auto-logins. But she's really not the type for that. I think it'd be pretty painful to read although she knows the bulk of it.

> It's a bit of an odd suggestions, but consider having kids.

Still 24, so that'd be really early for us, not something I'd love to have so early in my life (although I can imagine how nice it'd be to still be 44 with an adult kid!).

Beyond that though it's also not something I'd feel is appropriate. It's definitely true that if I'd have kids right now I'd probably solve the symptoms of whatever problem I have, completely agree with you there. I'm that type of person, as most people are, to my girlfriend for example. If she needs me I'll be there, if she has stuff planned for a birthday, or is going to graduate or needs a running partner for motivation, I'll suddenly be up for going out with her. And it's certainly true that people have had kids for less. But this issue is not something I'd ever want to use as a reason to have kids in and of itself, despite any of that.

[ars]

> I think it'd be pretty painful to read although she knows the bulk of it.

Personally I think she should, but of course I don't really know anything about her.

> Still 24, so that'd be really early for us

I don't think 24 is especially young. Maybe a drop younger than typical, but you seem to have good earning potential, and someone you love. What more do you need?

It has advantages too - you have more energy when young, and kids take a lot of work.

(Also don't forget you never know how long it will actually take.)

> But this issue is not something I'd ever want to use as a reason to have kids

It's not written permanently on them you know. Helping their parents is probably the best reason to have kids. "Why did you have me Dad?" "Because you make me happy."

What matters is how you raise them, not why they were born.

[gknoy]

  What matters is how you raise them, not why they were born

While that's likely true, I think it's also wise to consider that it is probably unwise to consider "having kids" as a _solution_ to a problem. Having kids is signing up for a half decade of never sleeping the same way again, never having "you" time easily, etc. It's a mountain of stress on both parents, and should not be entered into lightly -- else how will one manage to raise the kids well?