Not to be a dick or anything, but "diamond or hit the road" sounds like she is valuing the diamond more than you. I'm sure there was some hyperbole involved, maybe your post is actually an ironic fable, but if neither of those are true ... well, good luck!
Yeah, I'm curious about that attitude. Not personally examining the grandparent (to whom I wish a long and happy marriage), but is that a real thing, that a woman would break off a promising life because of the lack of a diamond ring? If she would, does that indicate that she doesn't know how to otherwise value a mate, or sees it as an overriding signal of this mate's suitability (even over rational things like job prospects, attractiveness, health, kindness)?
This has come up before and people on HN seem adamant that women will dump you if you don't buy them diamonds. My suspicion is that either this theory hasn't actually been thoroughly tested, or it's to do with the kind of women the men of Silicon Valley tend to seek out.
Oh, yeah. She would never leave me over something like that, but I definitely got the look. If it was a matter of money, I know she would totally understand. But in her mind and essentially every girl I've ever met, it's a diamond they want. Even if it's a small one, it's symbolic.
Sounds like you got a raw deal. You just proposed to someone who literally would dump you over not getting a shiny rock. Coercion like that is a major red flag.
Most of nature has mating rituals to signify fitness of a mate, in almost infinite variety.
A fraction of homo sapiens was convinced into an irrational addition to that ritual by being unaware of the psychological manipulation targeted directly at that mating ritual, and the omnipresent self-esteem trigger.
It's not coercion, it's an instinct corrupted by greed.
About what hueving said, I bet that's a good question to ask her. Or if you're the kind that likes games, tell her is not really a diamond, and check her reaction. No, we're not 12, ask her!