Another way to phrase this is
The OpenBSD user community should accept they have suffered
because Theo declined an invitation to a private email list,
entirely unrelated to the vendor who was in control of deciding
where the notification would go.
If you read the actual email thread http://marc.info/?t=140199386400003&r=3&w=2 you'll get a different perspective than the one that comes from a game of telephone played with social media comments.