[robmcm]

Perhaps because your see it as a complement, and so do the people telling you.

Try flipping it on it's head see how you reacted if someone told you, "You don't look very clever, you must spend all your time looking in the mirror and talking about your feelings. Why don't you go and buy yourself something pretty while we talk about the grown up stuff".

[belovedeagle]

If someone replied to a woman explaining that her coworkers weren't being rude, they were giving her complements, they would be flagged to oblivion. Why is it appropriate for you to respond like this here? Because mycroft-holmes seems to be male? It's this sort of disgusting double standard that is the problem in the tech industry.

[mycroft-holmes]

That's quite the assumption. When I'm around your stereotypical programmer, I feel they assume I'm not as technical.

[robmcm]

That may not bother you, but lets assume it does. You may be willing to change your fashion sense in order to gain their respect (even though you shouldn't!) but you gender/race is something you can't easily change.

The problem is with the people projecting their discrimination on to you and your colleagues. You should fight this not encourage or accept it.