[maratd]

> if anything, this is an example of how peace of mind can't be found on either ends of a see-saw

Well, there are different personality types out there. This may be "peace of mind" for him.

Personally, I split my time between the "real world" and getting my "hands dirty". I think it's important to have both at the same time, so you don't end up see-sawing between the two.

[leothekim]

> Well, there are different personality types out there. This may be "peace of mind" for him.

I'd agree with this if he didn't sound so reactionary. Leaving a software job to work on a farm is great if you're making a deliberate choice from a solid mental state. He makes it sound like he's doing this (and every other choice he described) because he'd otherwise be going out of his mind. It's disturbing to read in a way because he doesn't sound like he has full agency over his current decision.

[ky3]

he doesn't sound like he has full agency over his current decision.

There's a finished sheen to his prose, so I give him the benefit of doubt that he's merely caricaturizing his situation. Actual life stories are quite dull, you know, as opposed to say, the movies.

And on the topic of differing sensibilities, it's curious that you find it "disturbing to read." We are left wondering why.

[leothekim]

If he's caricaturizing himself on his own web site like this, then it's absolutely disturbing.

It's disturbing to me that, in abandoning his current reality to embrace a new one, he idealizes his next step in a way that repeats a pattern of psychosis. It's not at all clear he is actually in reality in moving to his next decision.

It'd be far less disturbing if he were listing his reasons as "I've been looking forward to doing this for a long time, and this is fulfilling a lifelong dream" or "I've been talking with my wife and kids, and we can't wait..." or "This is going to be hard, but we're giving it a go...", i.e. reasons that connect with his current reality instead of running away from it.

Instead, he demonizes his current life and, to reconcile "a new fire inside of me that I can’t hold back", he characterizes his decision as "A journey with a larger purpose. A journey that will feed me in ways money cannot. A journey that will breed true Life." These are ego-driven, black-and-white, rhetorical reasons. Nothing about his next move guaranteeing any of what he's hoping for. And this time, he's bringing his children along with him.

[yuncun]

You're right to feel disturbed, but I think his post is pretty embellished. He might have a list of reasons tucked away elsewhere that is more level-headed than the poetic version we are reading. Normal people don't want to read the story of the family man who made level-headed retirement decisions.