[domiono]

This is a very sensitive issue, but frankly men will always try to hit on women. However, right now this is completely ignored. It looks like everyone is trying to sweep this under the carpet and hopes this way, sexism in tech will go away. It won't.

A major reason for that is, because right now, men are only told what is NOT okay, without telling them what IS okay. This makes a lot of men behave very strangely in towards women. Firstly, because they don't want to appear sexist for the woman's sake and secondly, because they don't want to be accused of sexual harassment. Women feel this and for that reason feel unwelcome in tech. It seems like no one tries to reference any gender study researxh even though this is such a huge problem in tech and is holding up our industry.

A way to solve this, would be starting to create an open culture about how men and women can work together in tech, NOT leaving out the whole dating aspect.

A first step into this direction would be to clarify what IS okay and not only what is NOT okay.

For instance, telling a woman she is gorgeous without asking for anything in return is okay. Then the woman can make up her mind if she is interested or not. This is how it works and it will happen anHowever, basing a business transaction on sexual favours is not tolerated.

This has to be more specific of course, however, the only guideline being "inappropriate behaviour won't be tolerated" is just not enough to solve sexism in tech and to get more women into tech.

[bhayden]

>without telling them what IS okay

This issue I would have, if I weren't married and didn't have to worry about this, is that if you talk to enough women about "what is ok" you come to learn that nothing is. Talking to or interacting with a woman in any way, as a man, is not acceptable unless that interaction is wanted by the woman. And there's no way to know whether it is wanted since you can't read minds. Many women claim that they should have the right to be left alone and not talked to, even if someone is attempting to do it 100% out of friendliness because the woman has no way of knowing he's only being friendly.

[zaphar]

    This is a very sensitive issue, but frankly men will 
    always try to hit on women.

I don't usually take part in these conversations because I don't think I have much to add. However, a comment like this doesn't do anything constructive. The problem here wasn't even "men hitting on women". The problem is men hitting on women in an inappropriate context.

To your credit you go on to touch on this a little by sort of obliquely asking the question "what contexts would be okay?" But you completely ignore the truly easy first step. Which would be: Don't assume you know what contexts are okay until you've gotten to know the other person a little better than a few drinks and a couple conversations.

There is no "framework" for this other than taking the time to learn about the other person before you make any kind of move in the romantic/sexual arena.

Let's take your example:

    telling a woman she is gorgeous without asking for 
    anything in return is okay.

How do you know that is okay? You actually can't. Not until you've gotten to know them first. You can't be sensitive to what how another person will feel about a comment like that without gathering some background information first.

Your whole proposal starts with a flawed assumption that there is such a thing as a one size fits all framework for men and women to work together and date.