[jonnathanson]

It's not about the use of those phrases; it's about the way he integrates them into the sentence. It's clumsy.

When I use the word "elegant" here, I don't mean it in the sense of formality of language. I mean it in the sense of conveying a point as clearly and economically as possible. The biggest problem with his sentence is that it's overloaded with baggage. It reads as if the author liked the sound of a couple of fun phrases, then crammed them into the sentence.