[Jugurtha]

Yeah. I recently had to manage my time and divide it on multiple axes (Technology, Business, Lifestyle, Culture).

Lifestyle contains family time, time with friends, fitness, etc..

Like I said, about a year ago, I realized that the main reason I was learning my ass off is that I wanted to give my loved ones a better life.. I kid you not that when I realized that the very reason I was working that hard was driving me away from them while living under the same frigging roof, I cried like a baby.

I mean, here I was, wanting to make it that they never have to worry financially, and yet I wasn't spending time with them.

My parents are old, and just thinking they might die before they see me succeed and before I can really take care of them and my other siblings is killing me. I want to send my nieces and nephews to a great college. I want my siblings not to worry about money. That's why I almost don't sleep and try to get good. I read everything.. I really don't care about myself if I could get them a better life. And from a logical perspective, I don't have to: I'm the youngest one, they all work, some are married and have kids, but somehow it kills me to have my own flesh and blood live a life that's not the way it should. They shouldn't budget.

But I realized it might go at any moment. And I spend time with them. But fuck, man. I look at family photos: the things they've lived (brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews and my parents). Thousands of pictures spread on so many years and I'm not on them. For so many years just because I want to offer them what I thought they want.

I lived my whole life with my family, but ironically away from them.

It's also sad that as I wrote every word of this, I started sobbing and struggled to finish it and make it seem normal.

[networkguy]

That's kind of it for me too; I looked at all the work I was doing and I figured it was all for a better future, we were never going to stay in the city we were in much longer and "just one more year" of learning and working and everything will be for the better.

We finally moved all of our stuff this weekend to move over to a new city, but not the way we imagined it.

It's never too late to change and start new memories with friends and family, and I've already started doing that, and hopefully you're doing the same.